From The Inside
by ThatRebelKid
Summary: Bella's lived in Forks all her life. A dark childhood has her wild and rebellious. The Cullens move in, and she befriends them. But her bitter lifestyle leaves her changed. Will she accept the truth? Will she accept Edward after their rocky start? EB
1. Chapter 1

**From The Inside**

Bella walked into the school cafeteria, her eyes automatically finding her regular lunch table. A group of 3 guys and 2 girls sat around; crowding the table. Balancing her tray on one hand, she glided over to the table placing herself in between both girls. Her waist-length dark mahogany hair and deep chestnut eyes stood out amongst her creamy pale skin. Her lips were full and a pale pink, and her teeth straight and white.

**(Long descriptions of everyone. So just skip down to the quotation marks if you want.)**

Her attire consisted of a tight white tank top with wide shoulder straps, and black and white army camouflage pants tied to her knees. Her black Phat Farms padded silently against the linoleum floor. Stephanie sat to her right, long blonde hair with natural brown streaks running down to her hips. Her body was slender and lithe, built like a cats'. Her skin was tanned a dark honey caramel color and her sparkling amethyst eyes peeked at the world through a thin pair of spectacles. Her lips were full and colored a similar pink to Bella's.

She wore a thin, gray knit sweater with the sleeves pushed up to her elbows, and her hair hidden in her hood; faded midnight blue cargo pants and gray and blue diamond pattern Converse. Riley had short, chin length black hair with bright neon purple streaks running through her hair; midnight blue eyes glaring up at the world. Her skin was pale, and stood out with the black sweatshirt and dark denim jeans.

Randy had short, floppy black hair the tips dyed in an array of blue, purple, and slate gray. His piercing blue silver eyes shining mischievously. His semi tanned body shown in a black muscle shirt and long, baggy jeans. Elliot was muscular, and his black hair was styled into a short Mohawk, random red streaks shining through. His eyes were a deep cocoa brown. Tyler's brown hair was untouched and natural, chopped off slightly below his eyebrows; partially hiding his deep blue eyes.

"What's everyone whispering and conspiring about _this _time?" Bella asked jokingly.

Stephanie waved a hand freely, gesturing towards a table far off to the right.

"The new kids. I think they're the Cullens. Damn, Bella. If you didn't know that, where have you been these past couple of days?" Stephanie retorted, before grabbing Randy's Coke, and chugging down its remains.

Randy let out a sound of protest.

"Trying to pull your head out from your ass," Bella smirked.

Elliot spit the milk he had been drinking out, and laughed. Tyler took one look at his soaked arm, and glared at Bella.

"Gee, thanks Bells. I just got Hepatitis B," Tyler scowled.

Elliot looked at him incredulously.

"Isn't that the disease you get from gay sex?" he asked. Tyler nodded and laughed.

Bella shook her head, before turning her head towards the table Stephanie had gestured towards to.

A big, muscular boy sat off to the right, looking past her at Elliot, smiling. Next to him was a tall, gorgeous blonde glaring down at the table. A black haired, pixie like girl sat to the left, bouncing in place; and a blonde boy sat in front of her. In the middle of them all, sat a bronze haired boy staring directly at Bella.

Bella stared right back at him, and he arched an eyebrow.

"Uh-oh. New kid got into a staring showdown with Bella-kins here," muttered Riley.

Tyler and Elliot looked up at her, startled; at Bella, the boy, and at each other. They spit out their drinks, and started to laugh hysterically. Randy snickered, and looked over at the table.

"Do they have a death wish? Bella let it go."

"Randy. I thought you'd know by now. She **never **lets it go," said Stephanie as she leaned back into her chair, and popped her last tater tot in her mouth.

Suddenly, she jerked back up and cursed.

"Bella. Come on, we have to go."

She didn't even look away.

"Bella. We have to go! _Dammit, _the principal's coming."

"Damn you to hell and back, Swan. Do you _want _to be sentenced to detention the rest of our freshmen year?"

Bella reluctantly broke off the contest, and dipped under the table to get her discarded Jansport. She pushed the chair back, and as she turned she came face to face with Lauren.

She pretended to be looking for something.

"Steph, where's the trash? I forgot where it was," she looked Lauren in the eyes, "oh. _There _it is."

She dumped her tray of half eaten food on top of her. Stephanie snickered, and then shot a look to the cafeteria doors. She grasped Bella's elbow, and together they broke out in a run.

She bit her lip, and muttered curses under her breath.

Bella jumped, over the Cullens' table, and slammed into the exit. Stephanie followed afterwards, and together they ran into their next class.

-- ---------- --

**i**f **l**ooks **c**ould **k**ill

-- ---------- --

I glanced over at Stephanie and smirked. Her lips twisted into a similar expression, and we snagged two seats at the back of the room. I swung my bag on top of my desk, reaching inside the front pocket for my iPod. I leaned my head back onto the wall, and closed my eyes. Until my phone vibrated, jerking me out of my semi conscious trance. I reached into my back pocket, sliding my phone up. Riley's text:

_Where are you guys?_

Erm, class. Where else?

_You ran, jumped a table, to get to class?_

No. We ran, jumped a table to get away from the manic dude we call our principal. 

… _Second semester and you all ready know the _

_principal?! Damn, you people work fast._

Shush it, Riley. Grr.

She shut her phone, and kids started to file in. She closed her eyes, and started to jam out to _Violent Fetish_ by Disturbed. Until the teacher pulled an earphone roughly out of her ear, causing Bella, to glare, and look out the window.

Her breath hitched, and then completely stopped. The sound in the room muted, and time froze. Topaz eyes looked back at her. Stephanie slammed a book into her desk, causing her to jump up; startled.

"What's up with you?" Stephanie asked weirdly, scrunching up her nose.

Bella just shook her head, and glanced back at the window.

Nothing.

-- ---------- --

**m**ath **terror**

-- ---------- --

Bella slipped into her sixth period, not even glancing at anyone. She grabbed the only available seat, (she _was _late). Her math teacher shot her a scalding look and turned back to the board. Bella swung her bag onto the desk, reached inside for her homework, and handed it to the person in front. She pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a silent breath through her nose. A headache had developed in her temples, and she felt like killing someone would give her the slightest satisfaction.

She clicked her tongue against her teeth, and settled back into her chair. Deaf fingers took out a math book, and numbly followed the lesson plan; but her mind was elsewhere. She reached into one of her many pockets, and slipped out her phone. She pondered the small screen quietly. _Do I really want to get involved in this high school drama? I mean, my own __**personal **__problems are enough, right?_

She felt a renewed wave of frustration sweep over her, and she wanted to scream. She wanted so bad to punch someone, let it all out. But she couldn't. They depended on her, if she lost it; who knows what chaos would ensue? _Her. _She let out a low grim laugh at the thought. Who would be insane enough to depend on her? Didn't they see that she was already messed up in the head? Yet they added to responsibility, added salt to injury. Unconsciously, her eyes grew dark with anger.

Her childhood was not the best. In fact, as much as she hated it; she'd _never_ be caught saying, "_Why me?" _As much as she hated it, she knew it had to be her. Because if it wasn't her, it would have been someone else. She'd never wish it on anyone else; she could barely handle it herself. Who knows to what insane extent it would drive another? Her eyes looked black, and the emotion changed to wistfulness. She longed for the purity and _happiness _childhood was supposed to bring. She sighed, rubbing her temples.

"Miss Swan, number 13?"

Bella glanced briefly at the problem, before averting her gaze back onto doodles; uninterested, and uncaring.

"Radius is 17.3 in, multiplied by two, and added with the area of the rectangle which is 64 equals 1107.20 in."

The math teacher's mouth sagged open and snapped close. Looking at Bella in angered disbelief, he moved on with the lesson.

Bella's lips lifted into a slight smirk, and for the first time, glanced up.

Alice Cullen, (_**you knew this was coming**_, peered at her with curious eyes. Her short black hair was set in stylish spikes, black and amber contrasting sharply with alabaster skin. She smiled brightly at Bella. Startled and dazed, Bella looked at her curiously, and hesitantly smiled back; eyes unsure. Alice turned back around in her seat, once again facing the board. Bella looked at the back of her head for a few moments, and began doodling again.

_Talk to me after class. _

A piece of paper fluttered in front of her, from Alice. She raised an eyebrow.

**What makes you think I wanted to?**

Stretching her index and middle fingers, she slipped the note in between and waved it in the side of her face.

_What makes you think I care?_

Bella scoffed.

**Considering you're the one who started it, try not to contradict yourself. **

The math teacher glared at Bella. She merely smiled up at him before wiggling the note in his sight, and handing it to Alice. Alice laughed quietly.

Bella returned to her doodling. A pale hand flashed in the corner of her eyes. She looked up slightly to see _another _piece of paper. She looked at the bronze-haired boy closely. She leaned forward next to Alice's ear.

"What's your brother's name again?"

Edward looked at her incredulously, and burst out laughing. Alice just looked at him surprised, and a satisfied smile spread on her lips. _Why would she be satisfied? _She shook her head, clearing her thoughts; and stretched out to get the note he offered. She glanced at it briefly, and debated whether to reply. She chewed the inside of her cheek, eyes flickering between the note and her watch. She threw an exasperated look at the watch, and opened the note.

_You dropped your Debussy cd. _

Bella's eyes widened and she looked down at the floor in growing horror. It lay on the floor, untouched, face up. She let out a breath, relieved. She dipped down to retrieve it, and met Edward's questioning gaze. She quickly looked away, _no matter how hard that was, _and viciously opened her book bag slipping her disc inside. She searched on her desk for her pencil, forgetting where she had placed it. She grabbed it hurriedly, and scribbled on the note before handing it back to Edward.

**Thanks. **

Gratitude washed over her as the bell rung. But as she drifted the opposite direction from both Cullens, she couldn't help the pang of sorrow with _his _departure.

-- ---------- --

**m**idnight** s**crea**m**

-- ---------- --

I trudged up the stairs to my room, exhausted. My homework had been done in detention, _naturally. _I spent the remainder of my afternoon hanging out with my usual group of friends by the Oceanside Cliffs. At around seven, I came home and made dinner for Charlie and I. I took my showers in the morning. I collapsed onto my queen sized bed, and my gaze fell on a red splotch near the door. My mind wondered briefly on the bitter, dark memories I had in that certain spot.

The screaming, I reasoned, was the worst. Watching as Reené whimpered in pain, and begged me to run and hide in my room. Or maybe it was the fear and dread that only _hearing _the deliberately slow footsteps on the polished hardwood floors brought. No. The screaming _was _the worst. My head would be _a lot_ less fucked up if my mom had endured it in silence. Like me. Nothing tortured me more than those screams echoing through the halls in the dead of night.

A rock techno remix ring tone tore me from my thoughts, and I stared at the mobile for a few minutes before I realized it was _mine. _I glanced at the caller ID. Stephanie. I rolled my eyes. _Who else? _

"'Lo."

"_Where the hell are you?"_

"Erm. Home. Sleeping. Like a _human._"

Silence.

"Were you actually quiet for a minute? Damn."

"_Bella shut the hell up and take one good look at you calendar."_

"I don't have one."

"_Then take a look out your window."_

I glanced at the phone, wondering if she had gone insane.

"_Stop looking at the phone as if I'm insane and look out your window."_

"That's creepy. How did you know?"

"_Bella!"_

"Alright, alright. Chill, damn."

I clambered out of bed, and stumbled towards my window.

It wasn't late yet, but the sky was dark. Stars twinkled faintly in the distance, light against pitch black. I scanned the horizon, for any telltale signs of _anything _different. Nothing. I gritted my teeth together, _(let Lauren fuck the dentist, I'll grind my teeth __**all**__ I want), _and glared down at the black device. I moved to turn away from the window, when I saw it. Ribbons of colors formed, spreading, and intertwining across the western side of the night sky. Purple, green, and a faint streak of midnight blue. I watched; fascinated as the aurora borealis shone brighter and brighter. Then I heard Stephanie screaming voice, and suddenly remembered why I was looking at this _through my damn window_ and not at the cliffs with my fellow hikers. Predictably, I cursed.

"I'll be there as fast as I can."

"_Don't get caught."_

I slid my phone shut, **(black Samsung D820)**, and hurriedly walked to my closet.

I tugged on a pair of dark washed denim jeans, a dark gray Guess shirt, with sleeves that went down to her elbows. While doing that, I tried to simultaneously put my black Reeboks on. Not. Easy. I ended up twisting at an awkward angle and landing on my head, rolling onto back. I groaned soundlessly, and hopped lightly to my feet, jogging to my door. I stepped cautiously out in the hall. Testing every movement to see if it made noise, I slowly made my way to the stairs. I wasted no time in throwing myself over the banister, catapulting down a story, and landing with a soft _thud. _I grabbed my bow and arrows from a closet cupboard, and stepped out into the warm night air.

I turned, locking the door behind me. I broke out into a run, savoring the wind breezing in my face. Alice's face in math suddenly flashed in my mind. _The Cullens are new. Maybe they'd like to come and see the aurora? Should I call? _I thought about it, chewing the inside of my cheek. _Will they even be awake?_ A sudden impulse drove my hand to dive into my pocket, and whip out my phone; dialing Alice's cell number. I slowed down to a stop, and leaned against the tree as the phone rang.

"_Hello?"_

"Alice? Is it you?"

"_Yes. What are you thinking calling me at this time?"_

"I was going to see the aurora borealis. Wondering if your family would like to see it too."

"_Oh, okay. Let me ask. Hold on."_

"Erm, okay. But hurry. I'm late as it is."

"_My parents can come too?"_

"I meant it when I said family."

"_Okay. When can you be here?"_

"Um, give me a couple of minutes."

---------- --

**l**ight** o**f** t**he **s**oul**s**

-- ---------- --

A couple of minutes later, Bella, (sweating and panting), stood at the Cullens' door. She hesitantly raised her fist and knocked _very _lightly on the hard wood. The door swung open immediately, and in the doorway was who she assumed the mother. She had caramel waves to her hips, pale, and her features were soft, and rounded. Not nearly as angular as her children wee. But she looked _so _young. Like a twenty four year old. Far too young to have _six_, (at which point Bella mentally added that Mr. Cullen had to be hot), children. The woman smiled, and Bella felt awful for not smiling back immediately.

"Hello, I'm Esme. Alice's mother. You must be Bella."

"Hi. Sorry for waking you up for this. I just thought since you were new to town, I'd show you the aurora."

"Not at all. We don't mind. How nice of you, honestly dear. Where are your parents?"

Bella's eyes darkened; but for Esme's sake she quickly hid the emotion and faked cheeriness.

Not that it escaped her notice, anyways.

"My parents are divorced. My mother's doing God knows what in Phoenix and my father is in his bed sleeping. Is everyone ready?"

"I believe they are. Where are we going?"

"The Oceanside Cliffs."

"How?"

Bella gave Esme a slightly incredulous look.

"Hiking of course."

A tall, lean and blonde man stepped beside Esme, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Mr. Cullen?" Bella prompted.

The man smiled fondly at her.

"Please, Carlisle. Shall we leave?"

Bella smiled and nodded.

Alice bounded out, and happily bounced next to Bella; clearly excited.

She grabbed her hand, but quickly withdrew and gave Bella a long look. The icy cold of Alice's hand didn't seem to affect her, and Bella held her hand out for Alice.

"Come on."

A shocked Alice placed her hand in Bella's, exchanging curious looks with the rest of her family.

Bella led them to a path in the forest, and dropped Alice's hand. She reached into her back pocket and tugged out her leather gloves, slipping them on and clipping them around her wrists. She secured her bow and arrows diagonally over one shoulder, and strode over to the far right; completely ignoring the path. She jumped up and caught one branch, then heaved herself up and started climbing the tree. She gazed over the vague shapes of the forest, and threw herself down. She turned back towards the Cullens.

"Let's go," she said, greening cheekily.

She swung between branches, running through the forest clearly enjoying herself. The Cullens moved fast, almost impatient for her. She merely set a fast pace for them to keep up, and they seemed little more than satisfied with it. After traveling about fifteen or so miles in the forest, she paused. She reached deep inside the bag that held the arrows, and took out a set of fireworks. She set them up on the ground, and crouched low to make sure they weren't any animals nearby. She took out a matchbox, and quickly lit the fireworks, before stumbling away. A loud _crack! _resounded in the air, and the sky above them exploded in the lights.

"That's to let the others know where I am."

They nodded, knowing cell phones didn't get reception this deep into the forest.

They continued until they came across an old, Victorian mansion; looking at least centuries old. Bella crossed the lawn towards it, and pushed the worn, broken door lightly; stepping inside. The house was empty, furniture covered in sheets with dust heavily covering every inch of the fabric. She turned and made her way out, and back outside with the Cullens. Then she lead them to the backyard and stepped into the forest there.

"You're fast than most," Emmett said.

Bella glanced up at him, startled.

"Thanks, I guess."

The woods spread out, and stopped. And at the edge of a long range of cliffs, stood a group of teenagers looking at them expectantly. Or rather, at _Bella _expectantly. As the Cullens stepped behind her and appeared in their view, they shot them curious looks, and gave hostile glares at Bella. Stephanie stepped out from the little crowd, and glared at Bella condescendingly. She had on a pair of black soft, silk shorts, and a dark green sweatshirt.

"I thought I told you to _not _get caught. I mean, honestly, can't you even sneak out of your house the _right _way?" she asked sarcastically.

Bella rolled her eyes.

"For your information, Your Royal Haughtiness, I _invited them._ I'm not a complete ditz at _**everything**_."

Stephanie's nostrils flared angrily, before turning to the Cullens.

"Hi. You're the new family, right?"

Carlisle nodded.

"I'm Stephanie. (Smile.) Is this your first time seeing the aurora?" she asked curiously.

He laughed lightly.

"No. Definitely not my first."

"That's right. You guys came from Alaska."

Carlisle shot her a look.

"Small town gossips, you know."

He shook his head knowingly.

At this point, Bella turned away from them, and ran into Elliot's awaiting arms. He laughed as he lifted her up. And tightly embraced her.

"Missed me?" he asked playfully.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I miss my big brother?" she said, smacking him playfully; laughing with him. She looked up at him through her lashes.

"Elliot. Do you love me?"

"'Course I do, darlin'," he drawled, peering down at her weirdly.

She thrust her arms out for him. His eyes widened, and then rolled with realization.

He grabbed her arms, and lifted her onto his shoulders. She giggled happily, and bent down to kiss his forehead. Elliot flicked her nose, and drew her attention towards the sky. She looked serenely at the aurora borealis, feeling a sense of clam and longing. She sighed, and shook it off. She reached inside the bag again, and pulled out her camera. The _click _of the shutters echoed as they silently watched the light grow, and glow bright. Rena, in her yellow tank and long shorts, pointed down below them on a cliff across the river about 5 miles or so away.

"Look! The Quilete wolves!" she yelled.

A pack of wolves sat there hunched on their hind legs, arching their backs and howling up at the aurora. Bella redirected her film towards them and took several photos. Elliot slowly placed her back on her feet, muscles flexing in a white wife beater and gray sweats. She narrowed her eyes at him, huffing angrily. Emmett jogged slightly up to her. She peered at him as he held out his arms towards her. He let out a low chuckle.

"You need to take pictures, right?" he asked.

"Really? Would you?" she replied. He nodded.

A small frown twisted her lips.

"I'm a little heavier than your average backpack. Ask Elliot," she warned. He snorted, and swung her on his shoulders. She looked down at him, eyes wide.

"Wow. You sure are strong, mister," she said in her most babyish voice possible. A roar of laughter burst out of him, and she felt content hearing him laugh.

She lifted her camera to the sky again, and continued her picture taking frenzy. Edward stepped in next to them, focused on the view. He tilted his head towards her, watching Bella's childlike enthusiasm as she took in the beauty of it. The wind breezed by, playing with a few stray locks of hair. A light from deep within shone brightly in her eyes and she looked beautiful. Edward surprised himself by having the sudden urge to yank her away from Emmett and kiss her. To _ravage _her…. Among _**other **_things. He glanced quickly at Jasper, who shot him a look.

"Jasper, what the hell are you feeling right now?" he said, his voice too fast and high to hear, melting into a hum.

"Brother dear, you're feeling that _all _on your own," he shrugged.

"So, Bella. What kind of teenage rebel listens to classical music?" intrigue taking the better of him. She looked down at him darkly, and snorted.

"The kind that _isn't _a rebel," she snapped, and lowered her camera back into her bag.

"Then why were you running from the principal today?" he retorted. She glared.

"Oh, well me being as _**rebellious **_as I am; I had _illegal _substances in my pocket just _waiting _to be used. Satisfied, Cullen?" She bit out, voice dripping with heavy sarcasm. He flexed his jaw.

"Perfectly."

She sneered, and attempted to hop off of Emmett's shoulders. She looked down at him incredulously.

"Damn, Ice Man. Can you let go, Almighty Bodybuilder?" she joked. Emmett let go, and clutched his sides, howling with laughter. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He looked at Alice.

"I like her, Alice. You have a way of picking all the good friends. Keep doing it," he chirped happily, and poked Bella's ribs. She jerked away, laughing. He lunged for her, and she screamed; running towards Randy and Tyler. They spent the whole night playing around, and watching the sky.

Eventually, the group wandered over to her, as the aurora began to fade again. They formed a circle, and Bella struggled a little to start a bonfire. Randy, Tyler, Elliott, Stephanie, and Riley leaned towards her, and Jasper winced at the amount of anticipation radiating off of them. Bella looked at them smugly, and threw in a few more pieces of driftwood, watching the fire blaze brilliantly.

"Well, as you all know, this week is aurora week. For the next six days, the aurora will grow longer, stronger, _and _brighter. Those scientists can explain it _**all **_in clear, logical equations why that is. But we all know it's not true.

"Raise your hand if you haven't heard the vampire tales of the Quiletes. (No one raised their hands.) Good, makes this so much easier. We shouldn't believe what we see in those fiction bullshit Hollywood movies. Vampires _don't _burn in the sun, aren't allergic to garlic, or sleep ion coffins. Hell, I doubt they can even sleep. But they _**do **_drink blood.

"A long time ago, a minister's son back in the fifteen hundreds or so, before Cromwell's rule, went on a hunt. A hunt for the nightly creatures of the damned. Witnesses have said they saw him get attacked, others say he disappeared. The vampire hadn't fed in months, thirsty and desperate he had attacked the son. And left him to a fate worse than those in hell on the cobblestone street. "

Carlisle flinched; this story sounded startlingly similar to his own.

Bella continued.

"No one knows how the transition cam about, but after three days; he came out of the dark alley he had condemned himself too, and fled. He was horrified and what he had become; at the very thought of _drinking blood _from the very species he had once been grouped with. He ran to the countryside, where few people were; with fewer risk of thirst. But it burned him, engulfed him in such a way that he couldn't think straight. No one's sure whether he attacked anyone, but it's said he fed on animals. And _that's _how he got by

"Years passed, and he went Italy. Met up with the equivalent of royalty of the vampires. The Volturri coven. They tried to sway him to their side; to their _natural _food source. (Bella scoffed.) They tried all means of persuasion, even resorting to the darkest, most desperate attempts. But the former preacher's son was like stone, strong and determined. But a century passed, and he grew lonely.

"He went to the New World, after acquiring a few medical degrees. He couldn't make friends, for his kind, familiarity was dangerous. Too treacherous to keep without being found out. Chicago, late eighteen nineties. The Spanish influenza hit, along with a plunging rate of funerals and dead bodies. They say he changed a boy of seventeen; whose parents had died and had no chance of being remembered in the hectic buzz of the hospital. The boy was dying, and he was lonely. For centuries he had toyed with the idea of changing someone. Now was his chance.

"He didn't exactly know how it'd work, so he just recreated the same wounds that had been inflicted on _him_ when he was…_changed, _for lack of a better word. After hearing about his unusual way of hunting, other covens began to follow his lead. After that, he practically disappeared from the legends. Until that is some years ago, in this very town. They say that the Quilete wolves, or the La Push Pack, didn't like them at all. It's a well known fact vampires and werewolves just don't mix. But Elijah Black struck a treaty with them. They didn't step in the La Push territory, and they didn't tell anybody about their existence, or even step in Forks.

"But that's irrelevant. They say that since vampires _are _damned, that their souls were destroyed during the transition. But certain people; (at this point, Tyler coughed out the word _'Bella', _Elliott smacked his head, and Bella glared),believe that it isn't true. The souls of the vampires who try so hard to resist our blood, like the preacher's son, are rewarded for their abstinence. There are vampires who spent their whole existence trying to redeem themselves, and there, my friends, lies the _true _wonder. For in the strands of color and light of the aurora borealis, shines those poor souls. Shining with virtue, innocence, and compassion. To give them hope, that if they _truly _want to be salvaged, they must do as much good as they can in their time here."

"And so, that's why the aurora is also known as 'The Light of Souls'."

Bella sighed, and smiled; obviously exhausted from the story.

Riley handed her a water bottle, which she downed in one gulp.

The Cullens, somewhat confused at her accuracy, spoke up.

"What makes you believe that vampires exist?" he asked, his voice flat. Bella looked at him blankly.

"The La Push wolves are real. I'm just about open to anything."

"And if you ever met those vampires you talked about, what would you do?" he replied, clinical as ever.

"I'd probably have a heart attack from being happy and all, keep it a secret, and _try _to act normal," she admitted sheepishly.

"Keep it a secret? You wouldn't tell anyone?" disbelief colored Edward's tone.

"Never. I'd sooner throw myself off this cliff and down into those jagged rocks at the bottom," she half whispered.

The Cullens could easily read the sincerity in her voice and her eyes. Even without Jasper there.

They didn't know what to make of this.


	2. Chapter 2

_**I received over 25 emails of reviews, story alerts, favorite stories, and author alerts. **_

_**Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. **_

_**I appreciate it, I literally cried. I'd love to list the names, but I'm not sure if you'd guys appreciate it. **_

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_**Just too know you're still loving the story. **_

_**Thank you. Eternally grateful and yours, **_

_**Serenity. **_

_**On to the next chapter.**_

**Playlist:**

**Never Again – Nickleback**

**Snow White Queen –Evanescence **

**Ocean Avenue –Yellowcard**

**From The Inside**

The Cullens sat around the family room, sprawled on couches, and propped against walls. It was late, or rather early in the morning. It had been what, three hours since Bella had lead them back to their home? Ha! As if they _needed _guidance. But she was surprisingly fast for a human, and she _**did **_seem to know her way around the forest. Edward pursed his lips, and for the umpteenth time that night, he'd been thankful none of the _others _had _his _mind reading abilities. He shuddered to think of what Emmett would do with this kind of blackmail. The taunting, and the teasing, not to mention the silly, overused _and overrated _jokes he'd pull.

His mind flashed to Bella's face. Her full lips just _asking _to be kissed and her body- he stopped abruptly, before he drove himself to the point of forcing the girl. Carlisle had been unnervingly quiet, his mind blocked. He wasn't yet sure of what to do, Alice would have seen it; and so would Edward. He breathed out through his nose, drowning out the others overlapping thoughts. This _infatuation _he had with the girl wasn't right. Quite honestly, he barely even knew her. She was amusing, and horrifically _stubborn, _honest, and **bitingly **sarcastic. The only real conversation he had with her was an argument.

Did that even count?

He struggled to stifle a bitter laugh.

He was nearly a century and a decade old. And here he was, worrying about some silly _human? _He scoffed mentally.

Carlisle pushed himself off a wall, stepping from the shadows in the dark kitchen.

A habit he had picked up while with the Volturri.

"This is a first. I didn't even know there was a legend about me," he said, a small smile on his face.

He walked over to Esme, wrapping both arms around her, and tucking her head under his chin.

She sighed contently, before turning in his arms, and burying herself in his chest.

Rosalie rose to her feet, eyes blazed in anger.

"She _knows_, though. What are we going to do?" she spit out, disgusted with the very thought.

Emmett bounded to his feet as well, placing a hand on her shoulder meant to calm her down.

"It's not like she suspects us. And even _if _she found out, I wouldn't mind. I like her, a lot. She's not like most humans," shrugged Emmett, purposefully avoiding Rosalie's glare.

She growled, deep in her chest.

Edward stood up from the couch, looking at Carlisle with panic.

"So what are we going to do with her?" he asked in horror.

Carlisle looked at him, a knowing look in his eyes.

"Nothing. Yet."

-- ---------- --

**h**it** m****e**** w**ith** y**our **b**est** s**ho**t**

-- ---------- --

I clambered in through my window, and turned to close it. The sun was beginning to rise, and the aurora fading. I sighed, and anticipation pumped through me, already excited for tonight. I grabbed a red tank top similar to my white one, baggy black cargo pants that dragged on the floor, a thin white zipper sweater, and red and white Reeboks. I made my way towards the shower down the hall, and stepped in fast.

The hot water did what it always did. Loosened the knots in my back, easing tension from my shoulders. I sighed, and leaned against the wall, committing this moment of peace to memory, as they were few and far between. After fifteen minutes or so, I stepped out reluctantly. I pulled a brush through my hair, and blow dried it slightly. I ran my fingers through my chin length bangs, and got dressed. I hopped silently down the stairs, and stopped abruptly.

My dad sat on the couch, his eyes red and bloodshot from drinking, and his jaw set angrily. I pulled a mask of indifference on my face, and braced myself for the beating I knew would come. For a few long moments, he said nothing. Just sat there and glared at me, making the hairs on my neck stand and every instinct I have screamed to run and get the hell out of there. That danger was coming. Danger in the form of my alcoholic dad. He was constantly drinking, to _try _and recover from Renee. **(Don't worry. Later on in the story, Charlie will get better and turn into the Charlie we all know and some love. I just wanted her to have something to relate to to Esme. It's temporary, promise.) **

"This morning, I woke up hungry. I get up, go to my daughter's room, and find that she isn't there. Where the hell were you?" his voice dropping low.

I cringed with fear, mentally.

"It's aurora week. I thought it'd be nice to watch this year," I was scared shitless, but I had to turn that fear into a glare.

I _can't _let him know how much he terrifies me.

_I can't. _

He stood up.

"You thought it'd be nice, did you?" he mocked. He strode over to her and slapped me across the face.

**(Skip to the next bold note if you don't want to see some mild Charlie bashing. I love him too, and it hurts me to write this, but we all make sacrifices.)**

I struggle to make sure he doesn't see a bit of the pain I'm feeling.

"You live under my roof for one reason and one alone. You cook, take care of me. Not go gallivanting, parading around like some sort of _whore."_

That hurt. No, wait. That cut deep.

_To think, He'll never know the way his words haunt me. _

His hand reared back, ready for another hit.

I take it without a word, falling to the ground as it impacts with my side.

He kicks me, repeatedly.

Black spots invade my vision, and I can feel myself slipping into unconsciousness.

He stops, and leaves.

**(You're good. You can read again.)**

I _hated _this.

I wanted to fight back, and at one point in my life, I did.

But it did nothing, just turned it into entertainment for him.

His door slammed shut, and a sob escaped my lips.

I **hated **feeling weak.

Yet, he was the only one who ever came close.

Times like these are what drive my mind to insanity and suicide. I shook my head, trying to get rid of the tears that enveloped me. What the hell did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong? I had pretty good grades, I didn't ask for much. I worked at the hospital for money, so I **never **ask for money. Was I so horrible that my own father hated me? I could feel the sting in my eyes, and I knew that if I didn't get a hold of myself I'd never make it to school. I grabbed my skateboard, and bolted out of the house.

No way in hell would I stick around for round two.

-- ---------- --

**j**umping** t**o** c**onclusion**s**

-- ---------- --

Bella pushed her way past the crowd, and near the courtyard; which was unusually empty today. The others were there, waiting for her as always. She dropped her bag on the table, before plopping herself down onto the bench, between Tyler and Elliott. Elliott automatically swung an arm around her, and she leaned her heads back into his shoulders. The others were snickering at some joke Stephanie made.

"Man, last night was awesome. But I'm tired," complained Riley.

Bella yawned.

"Yeah, me too. I'm thinking of sleeping through math. Class is so easy, I'll pass with a bird brain. But Elliott's brain will work too, I guess." Se joked, teasing him.

Elliot mock glared down at her, and shrugged his arm off her shoulders.

"If that's how you feel, then fine. I need to go file my nails," he walked away prissily.

A soft, tinkling laugh escaped from Bella's lips, and she struggled to stifle it.

Her laugh drew the attention of the Cullen kids.

Emmett smiled, and walked over to them; and Bella gladly made room for him. He poked her side again, and she winced in pain, but quickly covered it with a fake giggle. He noticed.

"Are you guys going to see it again tonight?" he asked. They nodded.

He turned to Bella.

"Are coming to our house again? To pick us up?" he prodded. She smiled.

"No. I think you can find your way back there," she retorted; trying to ease her into thinking that the way he was scanning over her was just to get a good look, and not to see if there were any sings of bruising.

He mock glared at her, similar to the way Elliott had.

Alice bounded over, sitting across from her.

"Great, then you can come over to our house today," she smiled, "maybe even sleep over!"

Emmett shot her a look when Bella turned away.

"Erm, I don't think so, Alice. My dad will get pissed if I ask on short notice to go to a sleep over," she explained quickly as Alice's face fell. That heartbroken expression lingered.

"But I can come over, if you'd like," the statement sounded more like a question.

Alice bounced in her seat, ecstatic.

"That'd be great! Can you drive?" her words were rushed, hard to understand.

Bella shook her head.

"I'm fifteen. I only have my restricted. Besides, I'm getting my car next week," she sighed exasperated.

"You can ride with us."

"I have detention after school."

"Edward will pick you up; he has to get some parts from the mechanic's anyways."

"I really shouldn't. I can just run, like last night."

"You _ran _to my house?!"

"I needed the exercise."

Alice looked her up and down, and scoffed.

"He's picking you up, call your dad and tell him we're taking you to see the aurora tonight."

"My dad doesn't need to know."

She would tell her dad she was over at Stephanie's house working on a project. Steph's mom would cover for her; she knew the abuse that went on.

By then, Alice, Emmett, and Bella were walking down the hallways, to their lockers.

Alice stopped short, a blank look crossing her face. Emmett tensed.

"I don't think you should see the aurora tonight, Bella," Edward murmured softly from behind her.

Bella's heart stopped, and picked up double time in a mixture of fright, and happiness.

She scowled.

"I can do whatever I want. And I think I **will **go see the aurora tonight," she turned around to face him. Her breath caught.

He was standing too close, invading her personal space. Not that she _minded, _of course.

His gold eyes swirled with anger, and worry; bronze hair ruffled as always.

His eyes focused on his cheek, zeroing in on something. His eyes narrowed.

He lifted his hand up to brush a stray lock, to get a closer look. Bella flinched and backed away; looking at him in horror.

He looked murderously angry.

As in, _serial killer _angry.

She gulped.

He grabbed her arm in a death grip, dragging her through the hallways. The bell rung above them, but he didn't even glance at it. The hallways emptied, and behind her, she could faintly see the retreating figures of Emmett and Alice. Didn't they know their brother was psychotic? He readjusted his grip, a little softer, moved it lower; before her elbow. She whimpered. His cold fingers had touched a long forgotten bruise, a result of a different beating at a different time. They stood in the middle of long abandoned classrooms.

"Who beats you?" his voice was ragged, and rough; as if he had a hard time to keep from shouting.

A long silence followed.

She **couldn't **look away. His gold angry gaze locked her in place, and she found that every breath she took was heavy, and seemed to be hard to inhale. A strange mix of fear and anticipation rolled over her, nauseating her. Her vision started to shake, something warm and wet clouded her vision. She heard someone hiccup. What _was_ that? She closed her eyes, trying to blink the tears away. Oh, it was **her. **Something cold and strong wrapped around her. Comfort radiated through.

"Am I a horrible person?" she choked out between sobs. She felt Edward's breath on her neck.

"No. _No one _deserves to be beaten. It's **not **your fault," he dipped his voice low, the epitome of velvet.

"My dad. He doesn't mean to, but it _hurts. _Oh, Christ it _hurts_," the tears were pouring down and hard.

She **hated **feeling helpless and vulnerable.

But, somehow, it didn't seem to matter in front of Edward.

Her mind wandered to when she was younger. Those times when Charlie had come home drunk, and hit her mother. Those times where she had rushed to her mother's defense, and ended up half dead on the floor. There was a time when she had completely lost all faith in people, when she gave in to those feelings of abandonment and dark hatred. When she let them **rule **over her very life. Tears choked her. The all too familiar urge to scream strangled her; she _didn't _**deserve **this. Her chest heaved. What had she done wrong? Did she truly deserve an abusing father? Her lips trembled. Her **own **mother left her.

Edward's arms tightened around her.

She remembered Stephanie. The way she had understood, the way she helped in anyway she can. Bella pulled away from the memories as if they were poison. She tentatively raised her own arms to Edward's neck. She heard him sigh in relief. She closed her eyes again, breathed in his scent. She swallowed thickly, and the tears seemed to fade. She would have done anything to have this sort of comfort years ago. She pulled away, wiping the dried tear tracks from her cheeks.

"Where the hell have you been all my life?" she laughed weakly as she let her arms drop at her sides.

He held out his hand towards her.

"There's someone I'd like you to meet."

-- ---------- --

**r**elating** m**emorie**s**

-- ---------- --

Edward led me to his silver Volvo. I looked at him like he was nuts. Did he really expect me to get in a car with a stranger more or less? Ha. I stood beside the passenger door awkwardly, crossing my arms over my chest. He walked past me, and held the door open for me. He looked at me expectantly, and I looked at him pointedly. Insert awkward silence phase. **Damn. **

I_ hate_ awkward silences.

"Is this the part where I get into a car with a nearly perfect stranger?"

"No, this is the part where you get into a car with a **friend, **or else said friend will just shove you into the trunk."

"Ah. Sorry, I got the scripts confused," I glared.

"Oh yes, I'm sure you're a _great _actress," He bit out through clenched teeth.

"**Of course **I am.But, then again, I'm not the one shoving _unwilling _persons in their trunk; mobster."

He looked at me incredulously, and gently placed hands at the small of my back; pushing me towards the seat.

It was starting to rain, and I'd rather _die _then let my bag get wet.

At least, that's what I kept telling myself. Because there was no way that I had **actually **allowed _Edward _to push me into his car.

I was **barely **wet, and a wind came at me, I reasoned. The shiver that had passed through me had come from the chill; not from the feel of his hands against my back. But did it really explain that trail of heat his hands had left? Or why my heart rate stopped, and picked up double time? It doesn't matter. It's not like I have a crush on _Cullen_, of all people. The engine purred to life, and I couldn't look at him.

Because for the first time in my life, I wasn't so sure anymore.

**Holy fucking **_**damn. **_

I never really got a good look at his house; but it's _huge. _I gulped. No car was in the driveway, and the house looked completely deserted. I glanced at Edward. His hands were clutching the steering wheel, as if trying to keep himself from doing something. I looked away quickly. He shifted the gear in park, and I eagerly stepped out of the car. Alone with him in such close proximity, damn was **that **nerve wracking.

As we neared the door, Esme came into view.

She led us, or rather _me, _inside.

**(I personally think I suck at descriptions, so just read **_**Twilight **_**for it. Oh, and I'm only posting this once; seeing as how it's obvious I don't own anything, just the plot.)**

We sat down in the dining room, the formality of it frightening me.

I **am **a klutz.

"Edward, how many times do I have to tell you to _stop skipping school?_ You need your education," she scolded lightly.

He snickered, and smiled at her sheepishly.

"Sorry, Mom. You remember Bella right?" He gestured towards me.

She turned, and smiled brightly.

"How did he drag you into skipping with him?" she said lightly.

I ducked my head down, my eyes tracing patterns on the table.

"That what I _want _to know."

Edward shifted, and leaned forward to hold her hand between both of his.

"Mom, Bella's dad is easily angered with her. And while he _is _drunk most of the time-"

"He beats the crap out of me."

Edward threw his hands up in exasperation, and leaned back in his chair.

"I was **trying **to put it delicately, but you. You're unbelievably blunt and honest. Has anyone ever told you that? Most would be too traumatized to admit, much less say it out in the open. Amazing," he ranted.

What the hell?

Esme looked at me sorrow and pain in her eyes.

_Not with pity. _

That one thing I hated seeing when people found out the truth. Pity wasn't something I wanted, nor something I needed. It was like an automatic reaction that I learned to shy away from, and when _that _didn't work, I learned to beat the crap out of. When people looked at me like that, it reminded me of my mom. My mom was always _full _of self pity. My mom was selfish, though she did try to protect me sometimes. I briefly remembered the times when my mother snuck out to the hospital. Leaving me behind.

**(No Renee bashing, honest. I love Renee too, but, once again, Bella has to have a dark past. And Renee isn't really going to appear in this story.)**

"My ex-husband was abusive."

I looked at her heart shaped face, twisted in remembered pain.

"All my father could think of was of the advantages it would have brought to my family. But I never liked him; though most girls my age would have killed to be me. But what could I have done? I **loathed** the idea of losing my father's love over some bit of stupidity as this. And what could go wrong? I'd have a home, a family, and protection. That's all I could ever ask for in life, right?

"So when he proposed, I said yes. What other answer was there? We had a spring wedding; oh, how I loved my wedding dress. It was beautiful, but somehow, I wasn't happy. There were these little moments where I would feel self-conscious, and look around at the people nearest me. I'd take in their happy, excited faces and wonder why I had to fake my own? The wedding night came, and went. Weeks into our marriage, he started drinking. He started hitting.

She paused, looking at me.

"It didn't matter whether that he hit harder when he sober, or drunk. It _didn't _matter. All in all, it still hurt. And when someone **that **close to you hits you like that, it will _always _hurt. I was married to him for three years, and even that was long enough. It escalated to the point where I constantly questioned my worth, my way of life, and whether or not I was still the same person underneath all the lies that people so blindingly believed. Eventually though, I found out I was pregnant. No matter how hard I pleaded, how much I begged, he still hit. And I lost the baby.

"I ran from the home, and threw myself off a cliff. And a nearby hospital put me in a morgue, but somehow my heart was still beating. Carlisle was doing rounds, checking the bodies, when he found me. He brought me back. It took some time, and he was patient. But I grew to love him, and eventually to trust him. It only takes a good person to help. If it weren't for Carlisle, I would indefinitely be dead."

My thoughts whirled, and I found that somewhere in the middle, I had leaned forward listening eagerly. Could there really be someone that can relate to me? Someone who had gone through the same, and had survived and now lived a happy life? I was getting dizzy. Too much at once. I don't think I can handle it. The air grew heavy, and it choked me to the point where it hurt to breathe. I stared numbly at Esme. And then it sunk in.

They knew.

Someone other than Stephanie knew about my dad.

And worse off, they were probably going to tell Dr. Cullen.

And who knows who else.

I stood up, knocking the chair down in the process.

My face had gone pale; I could feel the heat leave my head.

Esme looked bewildered, and stood up next.

Edward looked worried; and looked up startled at Esme.

I backed away.

They knew. _They knew. _

Because I had told them.

-- ---------- --

**r**un** a**way** n**ever** s**ay** g**oodby**e**

-- ---------- --

I stumbled towards the driveway, and stopped. I walked calmly away from the house, purposefully swerving away from the Volvo. I jogged, and then picked up full speed in a run. I turned to my right, running alongside the road. After I made it a mile or two away, I pulled out my cell. It should be lunchtime over at school. I scrolled down my contacts, dialing Steph. She wouldn't ask any questions, she'd know I'd tell her soon.

"_Hola, skipper."_

"Yeah, I need you to pick up my car."

"…"

"_What in hell did you do now, dearie?"_

"Fucking trashed your house. None of your damn business. Just- can you get my car or not?!"

"_Yeah. Where to?"_

Steph sounded gruff.

"Ocean Avenue."

Curses.

"_At this rate, I don't want to know. Wait ten minutes."_

"Hurry."

I shut off my phone.

I used to hate the fact that Forks was practically all forest.

Now, I couldn't be more thankful for it.

I leaned against a tree trunk, banging my head against it. My mind was still reeling from the past day's events. I couldn't believe I allowed myself to slip. This whole day just keeps turning more and more messed up. I was going insane, there was just no way. If my dad ever found out- I broke away from the thought. I heard a rustle in the leaves, and I broke off running. I tried to tell myself it was because I wanted to get to my car already, not because I was scared. I wasn't scared of anyone, or anything, in my lifestyle, there wasn't any room for fear. So why was I suddenly trembling with it?

I made it to the abandoned street.

This part of town had been abandoned, during the Salem Witch Trials, during which Washington were primary sources for raids.

The place was said to be haunted, no one dared set foot in this part of town.

In a pool of light, stood her car. Stephanie was far too superstitious was more likely to cuss her ass out the second she returned. Stephanie's ancestors had been hung in the Witch Trials, as some ancestors were French. Stephanie was always terrified of this part of town, seeing as some were even burned at the stake here.

**(Not true. I'm only including this in the story because I might do a spin off about Stephanie and her ancestors. Review if you want it, Though I might post it anyways, so be on the look out). **

Hell, she even avoided fortune tellers.

Once when we were thirteen, one of them had even guessed her ancestry; went so far as to tell her that it was _her _that had been burned at the stake, and hanged on Gallows Hill in past lives.

Stephanie had been freaked out ever since.

I glanced around quickly, making sure no police around.

Technically, I wasn't supposed to have a car.

And technically, I wasn't supposed to do a lot of things. Never mattered before, but if the police caught me, I'd be reported to my dad, Chief Swan. And I was sore enough from this morning's beating. I sauntered over to my blackish blue Honda Accord. I slid in the driver's seat, admiring my black leather seats, and leaning over to turn on my stereo. I threw the gear in drive, and sped down the avenue, the engine purring quietly.

I drove onto the highway, trees fading, flying past. The pavement ended, and with it a trail begun.

-x-

She stepped out of her car, shoulders trembling with restrained emotion, she was losing control. Something she couldn't ever afford to lose. Small, choked sobs sounded from her lips; few and far in between. She hated it. She bit down hard on her tongue, trying to stop the shaking. She couldn't stand it. She didn't need this. More people who knew, more people to avoid familiarity with. She slipped up again, and there wasn't any room _for that. _What was she to do with the Cullens? They knew too much, and she couldn't just pick up and leave she would have done two years ago. She had broken one of her few rules.

She had gotten familiar.

Too familiar.

She cursed. If she had been thirteen, this would have been no problem. She would have severed all ties to this town completely, and picked up and hauled ass. But she had gotten too attached. Her thirteenth year had been her best. She had finally achieved perfect control, and aloofness. She had been cold, and cruel; perfect if you were constantly on the run. But she threw it all away, and broke her rules.

Of course, at the time, she though tit was done.

Thought it was over, that running wasn't necessary anymore.

And now the worst had come.

And she wasn't prepared for it.

She walked around to her trunk, popping it open and taking out her arrows. Relief flooded through her as she saw she was smart enough to wear comfortable running clothes. At least she did something right today. She treaded lightly through the trees, hunting small game. Hunting season had opened last week, and she had to beat that damn Newton family. But then again, if she hunted a big piece of game, and it outweighed Newton's, that strategy would beat them too. A deer stood off to the side of a clearing, eating grass silently.

Opportunity's knocking.

And she just might get the door.

The excitement made her giddy. But she had to be careful, cautious. Or else she'd lose the slight edge, her advantage. She drew back the arrow, tensing the muscle, her shoulders bunching back with the effort. Steadied it, keeping her eye on the target, she drew until her thumb hit her chin. If she overdrew, the fatigue would come sooner. She let go, the arrow whizzing by with only a whisper of a sound. A heavy thud reached her ears, seconds after the arrow hit its mark. She took out a small camera, took the image, and tugged the arrow gently out. The deer, twitched, and stood up; running away. Se sighed, and leaned away.

The strain and fatigue was getting to her.

Her shoulders began to ache, while her muscles trembled and throbbed.

Another deer. She could take one more draw. She had to. Her arms shook with the effort, and she couldn't aim quite right. She grit her teeth in frustration. She tried to steel her arms, they only shook worse. She tried to push through the pain, force her way past it, and give what little strength she had left. Dammit, she couldn't do it. The strength in her body wasn't enough. But she'd take the shot anyway. Her arrow flew, wobbling off course, and struck a tree a foot away lightly. Not even enough for it to stay in place. The deer fled. She blew out a breath in frustration.

It was time to rest.

She sat down on a trunk, taking out a bag of chips from her arrow bag.

She loved sour cream and onion lays.

An hour passed, and she finished the family sized bag. So what if she a bit selfish? Her arms were still sore, but she had gotten some feeling back in them. Some of her strength had returned, and she thought she still had a shot or two left before she headed back to that hellhole of a home. She packed her stuff, and picked up her bow and arrow, once again threading through the trees. Small rocks shook at her feet, and she bent down, eyeing them curiously. She headed up farther, standing at the crest of a hill. Down below a herd was running.

She wouldn't hunt them.

She didn't have it in her to ruin such a moment. That's when she heard it.

Beneath the heavy thud of hooves, someone was screaming.

She whirled around, ready to pick up and follow the trail.

Red eyes peered at her, hungry and dangerous.

She froze.

The worst had come.

And she wasn't even ready for it.


	3. Chapter 3

**God, I'm an asshole. **

**I am so sorry for the wait, I just had tremendous writers block, and I just realized its been over a year. I can't begin to say how sorry I am, and I'll try to update every week or so. But I'll probably forget, so… any volunteers to remind me? I'll give you my email address and you have to email me relentlessly making me write the new chapter. I'm so so unbelievably sorry. Please please, **

**Forgive me?**

**At your mercy,**

**Serenity.**

**P.S. There is cursing in this fic, so no flames. You've been warned.

* * *

  
**

_**From The Inside**_

_Of her damn rotten luck, the worst had caught her off guard. How __peachy_ was that? Bella stood frozen in place, staring unseeingly into those red eyes, her body telling her to run. She stumbled back, tripped over a tree root, and a foreign noise escaped her throat. '_Oh, wait. That's me. I'm whimpering,'_ she thought numbly. She laid there on the forest floor, _whimpering_ like the weakling she now believed herself to be. The owner of the red eyes laughed harshly, with a laugh that didn't sound like a laugh at all, and made her skin crawl. Another scream ripped through the air, and that was all it took for her to spring back to action. Bella scrambled to her feet, and climbed up into a tree; fast for a human. She jumped from the branches, trying desperately not to fall. She could feel breath on her neck, and then she knew. She was being toyed with, she would end up dead no matter what. This startling realization made her fall through the branches, winded her with the impact as she landed flat on her back. She didn't wait, she _couldn't._ She was at another clearing, the screams nearer now. There was a sudden dip in the land, a small cliff about four feet tall. Leaning back on her heels, she glided down, the back of her clothes getting dirty. She stumbled back onto her feet as she landed on the ground below and continued to run.

This was where her life would end. It had to be. It was flat, and clear, and there were no trees to hide behind. And then, the scream was to her right. She turned, wondering who could produce such an _awful_ sound. _'Oh, what the fuck?' _

"Riley?!"

* * *

-- ---------- --

**_i**nstead **o**f **w**ondering **w**h**y_**

-- ---------- --

'_Just my damn luck,' _I growled at the mirror, looking at the massive bed head I had. I felt the upper left corner of my top lip curl up in disgust, and angrily turned away and tugged on a pair of black skinny jeans. My short black hair was tangled and it seemed as if I would never tame the strands. Running a hand through it, I gave up, and pulled on a beanie. I grabbed a neon green tank top, and one of my spiked belts that had rainbow colored metal studs in a grid pattern. I clasped it loosely around my hips, not bothering to run it through the lips and snagged my black vest on my way out the door. I stepped out of my apartment, and walked a few blocks south to Elliot's place. I jammed the key and shoved the door open. "Morning sunshine!" I chirped into his ear, getting comfortable on his bed. He groaned, rolling over and pulling a pillow over his head. I rolled my eyes, smiling slightly. I crawled under the covers and snuggled up to him, our bodies touching completely. After a few seconds, his arms wrapped around my waist, and I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"Riley," he sighed, his lips moving against my cheek. My fingers traced his ribs lightly, and up his side to his shoulder. He always slept shirtless. "Come on, we have school," I muttered quietly, wanting to stay where I was. His arms tightened around me, and I could just see the smirk forming on his face. "You don't sound so willing to leave. Besides, we could do some educational things in here. We don't need school to learn about the anatomy," he dipped his head, kissing my neck. I laughed as I felt his hands tugging at the waistband of my jeans. I rolled him onto his back, straddling his hips. I grinned, slapping his hands away. I felt something stiffening and rising beneath me, and bit my lip, embarrassed. "Now that you're awake, get dressed." I jumped off of him, and made my way to the kitchen, ducking to avoid the pillow that was thrown at me. "Tease," Elliot muttered darkly, and I heard him fall off the bed.

We've been going out since we were 13, and this had become routine. I lived with my parents until a few months after Elliot and I became a couple, and I got emancipated. My parents were both drug dealers, and were constantly leaving drugs around me. The court thought this was sufficient enough, and so I was a legal adult and my parents were required to send me checks of $700 every month. **(Made up.)** I moved out, and bought my own apartment, and every morning I'd go to walk to the house Elliot and Randy shared. The two of them didn't have bad parents or anything, they just decided to move in together. Both their parents lived on the other side of town, but visited frequently. Elliot and I were approaching three years fast, and I smiled at the thought of him. We joked around a lot about sex, though we don't plan on having it anytime soon. He respected me, and left it up to me to decide and he seemed happy enough.

Randy was in the kitchen, already dressed, munching on an apple. He grinned halfheartedly at me, and slid a glass of milk over to me on the counter. I happily emptied the glass, and put it in the sink. "Thanks," I shrugged and turned the faucet on. Randy grumbled something incoherently; he never was a morning person. I laughed at his response, and a grin flashed across his face. He wore a gray wife beater under an open black shirt, black skinny jeans, and stone gray high top converse. I walked over and ruffled his hair, his dyed tips seemed brighter. "Did you retouch them?" I raised an eyebrow, examining them. He nodded tiredly. "Nice."

Elliot stepped into the kitchen, his hair left natural. The ends brushed against the top of his cheekbones, and the red streaks bringing out the gold flecks in his eyes. "Did you do his too?" I asked, a little breathless. Randy nodded again. Elliot grinned, his gray hoodie wrapping tightly around his muscled arms. He strode up to me, and wound an arm around me, pulling me against him. My breath hitched, and his thumb traced my bottom lip gently. "Do you need CPR?" his eyes dropped to my lips, and suddenly, he was kissing me. My hands went around his neck and into his hair, pushing him closer. His hand cupped my cheek, and the other made sure there was no space between us. The sound of Tyler's car horn shocked us apart, and I growled. Elliot rolled his eyes and shook his head exasperatedly. "Every freakin' time," I hissed, preparing to hit Tyler. Elliot hushed me, pulling me against him again and nuzzling my neck. "I have the house to myself. Come over later," he muttered against my neck, the movement of his lips making me dizzy. I nodded wordlessly.

He laughed huskily, before pulling away from me neck and steering me out the door and into the backseat of Tyler's car. Randy hopped in the passenger seat, and I slid closer to Elliot, the cold weather getting to me. He glanced down, and glared. "Where's your sweater?" he tugged on a strand of my hair. I bit my lip, and looked up at him through my lashes. He took off his and handed it to me, and dashed back into the house to get one for him. I smiled happily, inhaling his scent. He slammed the car door shut, and Tyler started the car, blasting Disturbed on the stereo. Elliot slid my beanie off, and I reached for it. His fingers started combing the knots out of my hair, simultaneously massaging my scalp. Soon, he had my hair perfectly combed and had me half asleep on his lap. He towed me out of the car as we parked and sat in the courtyard of the school.

Stephanie was walking towards us, a Starbucks bag in hand. Randy and her eyed each other, and Randy pulled out an extra sweater he had. "Bulgari scented?" Stephanie narrowed her eyes. Randy nodded and gestured towards the bag. "Vanilla with a shot of double chocolate espresso?" he questioned. The both of them switched, Stephanie slipping on the sweater and Randy taking a long sip of his latte. This was another one of morning rituals. Lauren and her group of cronies passed by, and Stephanie happily took a sip of her coffee and made a snide comment on her wardrobe.

"Wow. As if gladiator sandals will make her abnormally big feet look pretty," she scoffed. "You know what they say about big feet," Elliot piped up next to me.

"Yeah, and you know what they say about her," Tyler sniggered, referring to the latest rumors of Lauren whoring her way around some junior party in the weekend. **(Keep in mind, they're freshmen. For a minute, I almost wrote 'college party' thinking they were still juniors.)**

"Poor guy. He must still have the smell of feet fungus all over him," Stephanie said sadly. Tyler and Elliot gave her blank looks. "As if her feet aren't that big?" Stephanie explained, and all of us laughed.

Bella dropped her bag on the floor, and squeezed between Tyler and Elliot, who swung an arm around her. "Man, last night was awesome. But I'm tired," I said, once the laughter had died. Bella glanced at me, and yawned; attempting a smile at me at the same time.

"Yeah, me too. I'm thinking of sleeping through math. Class is so easy, I'll pass with a bird brain. But Elliot's brain will work too, I guess," she shrugged. I stifled a laugh.

Elliot shifted his head, and glared down at her playfully, slipping his arm off her shoulders.

"If that's how you feel, then fine. I need to go file my nails," He got up, and walked away, swaying his hips prissily.

The Cullens came, and started talking to Bella. I shifted uneasily, before deciding to go follow Elliot. The group started to shift away from them as well, pairing off and leaving. The Cullens gave us all the creeps, and we were waiting for them to leave Bella alone with us to warn her. I got up from the table, and padded off in the direction Elliot came, searching the halls. I wandered over to the abandoned part of the school, and a pair of arms dragged me into a classroom. I giggled as Elliot pushed me onto the teacher's desk, and played with the hair at the nape of his hair, his lips tracing my jaw line. I turned my head and kissed him, and we picked up from where we left off this morning. His hand cupped my knee and hitched my leg around his hips, and I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer. The bell rang above us, and we pulled away. "So do I get my extra credit?" I joked, as we fixed our clothes and stepped out of the class. He closed the door quietly behind us, and looked at me lovingly. "How about my heart?" He whispered.

"No, all of you," I cupped his cheek adoringly. He bent down to kiss me again when we heard voices. He pulled me into a corner, hidden behind a row of lockers. From our position, we could see Bella, with…. Edward? She whimpered, and my eyes focused on the grip he had on her arm. _'What the hell is he doing?' _I stiffened angrily, and Elliot pushed me back slightly. He looked as angry as I was. And then we heard the words that came out of his house, and I held back a gasp.

"Who beats you?" The words sounded as if it took an effort to speak them, and Edward glared down at Bella murderously.

'_How does he know? How can he tell?' _I thought, panicked. His knowing could mean that Bella would run, _again. _I glared viciously at his back, my mind unconsciously going back to all the times Bella had crashed at my place, the horror stories she told me about her parents. Edward's back stiffened, as if he could hear my thoughts. _'Pompous ass. Who the fuck does he think is? As if Bella has to explain herself to him. What the hell?'_ my thoughts running together in anger. We watched the scene unfold, and he snuck Bella out of the school. We stumbled out of the corner, and Elliot looked at me. "If she's not back by lunch, I'm going to look for them," he said. I shook my head. "No way. My parents ran a gang, and they would send me into all kinds of shit. I'm going," I protested. Elliot's jaw twitched angrily, his arms shifting as if to restrain me. "No. That guy, and his family, give me the fucking creeps. I don't want you going on a rescue mission alone and have you run into him," he hissed angrily. I glared at him. "I can take care of myself," I growled. Elliot closed his eyes, and groaned. "I _know _you can. And I know you have, and I'm fine with that. But you're with me, and I love you. And as long as we belong to the other, I don't want you to have to take care of yourself anymore. I want to do that for you. Please, understand that," he pleaded.

I relaxed, and hugged him. "I do, I'm sorry. It's my temper, and I thought.." I trailed off, and Elliot hushed me. "I understand, don't worry," he murmured. "I'm going," I repeated. Elliot stayed quiet for a few minutes, and sighed. "I know." At that point, we realized we only had 20 minutes of first period left, and promptly, hauled ass.

* * *

**-X-**

Second and third period passed by uneventfully, and slowly. Painfully, but only because Elliot wasn't in those classes. Bella and I were close, as close as she was to Stephanie; so naturally we had a lot in common. Like, we were both so advanced in these classes, we didn't even need to pay attention. I was stuck in English, studying the unmercifully boring text of _Romeo & Juliet_, when alas, the bell rung. _Did I seriously just say 'alas'? _I shook my head, sliding out of my seat, and heading to my locker. Elliot was already opening it for me as I approached it, and I dumped my texts on the shelf and grabbed my wallet. Flicking it shut, I leaned against it and looked up into his eyes. I could tell he was having second thoughts of letting me go, and I grabbed his hand and pecked his lips. We weren't very open about our relationship. He sighed, and together we began to walk to the cafeteria. He grabbed my lunch for me, filling up the tray for the both of us, and he managed to pay, as usual, without my noticing. I glanced at the Cullen table, noticing Edward was missing. I narrowed my eyes, and turned to my table. Bella was missing too. Stephanie slammed her tray onto the table next to the empty seat and glared at the empty void viciously.

"She skipped. Without me," she said angrily. She bit angrily into her grilled cheese, and set it down. "I can't _believe _her." Elliot and I exchanged looks, and I bit into my apple thoughtfully.

Tyler and Randy joined us, bashing some junior in their Italian class. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice dump her food and exit the cafeteria through the east entrance. _'Isn't that the way I have to go?'_ I shuddered slightly, and Elliot's frowned deepened. Stephanie's phone rang, and she glanced at the caller ID, and grunted in annoyance.

"Hola skipper," she said sarcastically. I leaned in, knowing it was Bella.

"_Yeah, I need you to pick up my car,"_ her voice sounded breathless on the other line. My hands curled into fists. She wasn't allowed to have a car, only used it when she was going to run away. 'Damn_ that Cullen kid,'_ I thought angrily.

"…." Stephanie stayed quiet for a minute, looking at me understandingly. We both were thinking the same thing. "What in the hell did you do now, dearie?" she asked, concern coloring her voice.

"_Fucking trashed your house. None of your damn business. Just- Can you get my car or not?!"_ Bella snapped angrily, her voice going higher in pitch in panic. Stephanie seemed as if this caught her by surprise, and she seemed unsettled with Bella blowing up at her.

"Yeah. Where to?" she asked gruffly, her voice weary and cautious. _"Ocean Avenue."_

Curses flew out of her mouth at a rapid speed, in French and in Italian. She had studied both languages since she uttered her first vowel. "At this rate, I don't want to know," she paused, looking at me. I nodded, "Wait ten minutes," she continued. She bit her lip, shutting her phone and pushing it back into her pocket.

"Thanks Riley. You know how much I hate that place," she sighed, relieved. I shrugged, and got up from the table, dumping the food. "Its fine."

Elliot got up and followed me out of the cafeteria, and suddenly, I had a bad feeling about this. Every nerve on my body felt icy hot, my stomach feeling sick. I broke out in a cold sweat, and hugged Elliot to me fiercely. I felt like this would be the last time I saw him. Elliot wrapped his arms around me, hugging me back just as tight. I planted kisses all over his cheeks, his lips, his neck. He gripped my head between his hands, and kissed me desperately. "Don't go. Please," he gasped, pulling away from me. In that moment, I felt the muscles in his shoulders trembling. "You feel it too?" I asked quietly. He didn't answer, just kissed me. One last, desperately passionate kiss. "You love me, right?" he leaned his forehead against mine. I looked deep into his troubled eyes. "You know I do," I answered, slightly confused. "Then don't go. If you love me as much as you say I do- If you love me as much as I love you, don't go," he begged, his hands covering mine on his face, keeping them there.

Alice stepped out into the hall we were in, and she bounced over to us. We didn't pull away, didn't change our positions. "Bella will be fine," she smiled, and her teeth flashed at us. She walked away, and I looked into Elliot's eyes again. Her attempt to reassure us did nothing for me. "I have to go," I whispered. He shook his head, struggling to speak past the tears that I could see were in his eyes. "No. No, you don't," he choked. "If you go, you never loved me," he stated. My heart froze. "No, don't do this to me," I closed my eyes. "I feel like I'm going to lose you," he shook his head again, "I can't let you- I can't lose you." I stepped away from him, tears running down my cheeks. "I'm going." Elliot blinked back the tears and punched a locker angrily, leaving a dent. Minutes passed, and he straightened himself, his face blank. "I know," his voice was a monotone. My throat burned, and closed up. My heart beat faltered, and beat a ragged rhythm painfully, and hammered against my ribcage brutally. I reached out to touch his cheek, and he stepped away. "Elliot, please," I begged. He turned away, making me stare at his back. I turned, and ran towards my locker grabbing my bag and Bella's spare car keys that she trusted me with.

I slipped out of Elliot's sweater, hanging it in my locker. I jammed the iPod headphones into my ears, and walked out of the school openly, ignoring the security guards. I circled around to the back, and pounded on the auto shop door, where Leo opened the door for me. Leo was tall, with shaggy brown hair that was just beginning to touch his eyebrows, brown eyes, and a lanky build. He was an auto freak, and an aspiring car engineer, he always lived in the school's auto shop. He swung the door wider, and turned; leading me into a back room and uncovering Bella's car. He strummed his fingers on the hood, stroking the glossy paint regretfully. "Take care of it," he said slowly, and I slid inside the driver's seat. I started the car, and sped through the streets quickly, keeping close to the alleys in case any cops were to come around.

I flicked on the radio, not even glancing at it as I messed with the stations a little. As I ran a red light, the bad feeling spread to my chest. I shuddered as it made my blood run cold, and flicked on the heater. I made it to Ocean Avenue in record time, parking the car deep within in buildings to shield it from view. This road led straight down to the forest, and I didn't exactly know what Bella planned to do, so I hid in the backseat. Bella ran a hand through her hair, and sighed as she took her place behind the wheel. She turned on the stereo, and sped faster through the highway than I would have dared.

As she stepped out, I slid out the opposite way, shutting the door quietly, and dashing into the forest. _'She came here to vent,'_ I observed, and kicked at the moss at my feet. We were going to be here for a while, so I decided to just around. What was the harm? It _was _daylight. As I made my way deeper and deeper into the forest, my body slowly switched to survival mode. I did not feel right in this place at all. I felt sick, it was bringing tears to my eyes how uneasy I felt. I can't take anymore of this! I stumbled, half blind, backpacking the way I had come. The air was charged with inhuman power, and I could feel something behind me, making me want to desperately, _desperately_ run into the sunlight up ahead. The shadow of a movement from the corner of my eyes, and the adrenaline roared through me like never before. I tore away from the place, feeling my pursuer keep up with me in every step that I took. My palms were getting clammy, and knees were growing weak with fear. I started to panic, not able to think straight. I missed the sudden drop in the land, and fell arms first. Something cracked, and I sucked in a breath, positive I had broken a bone. I felt my right side go numb, and a half strangled groan escaped my lips. I felt hands, or claws, ice cold and powerful with abnormal strength, tug at my back, dragging me off to the side somewhere.

The thing froze, and I could hear a thumping on the ground. I lived long enough in Forks to have known that it was the sound of deer running through the forest. I felt the presence leave, and sighed. The numbness in my right arm subsided, and pain slowly crept up my shoulder. I blinked, and realized my left arm was stinging badly. I glanced down, seeing deep cuts along the length of my arm. I screamed.

* * *

**-X-**

"Riley?!"

I shuddered, stumbling back looking down at her. Her chin length hair was matted with sweat, and her eyes were wide with panic, glancing side to side with fear. Her thin lips trembled with a silent groan, and blood was pouring from her left arm, her right seemed broken. And her clothes were covered in dirt, and blood. I fell to my knees, patting her forehead. "Oh, my god. God, no. Riley? What-," she was back, I knew it. _I need to leave. I need to be safe. _Cold fingers stroked the back of my neck, teasing and I swallowed, looking back down at Riley. "You're not going to kill us," I said fiercely, drawing up courage. I lifted my chin stubbornly, setting my shoulders.

'_A life time of abuse.. A life time of running, I know better than this. Come on, Bella girl. Face this head on, you fucking coward.'_

The being giggled, the kind you'd see with blonde curls, pink bubblegum, and Barbie dolls. "Silly little human. Such false hope," it muttered, its voice embodying sweetness. "You… can't," Riley struggled, her fingers curling around something behind her back. The female's eyes were pitch black, and she leaned in inhaling the scent of blood coming off Riley. I held my breath slightly, leaning away. Being nauseous was not going to help anyone. Then, very clearly I heard a dial tone, and glanced at Riley in surprise. "'Cause your face is all over CNN by now anyways," Riley finished. I looked at the number on the screen, recognizing the Hotline. The psychotic freak, _(red eyes, and inhuman super stuff and going around looking for blood entitles you as psychotic in my book)_, growled angrily and lunged for Riley.

Okay, I literally fucking blinked and she's already… oh, shit. Sucking the blood off Riley's arm as if she was a damn lollipop. Riley yelped, and tried to pry her off her arm and before I could manage to grab her red hair, I was thrown back several hundred feet. My back slammed against a truck, and I heard a faint crack. I landed face down onto the ground, my skull bashing into a rock. Blood trickled from the cut on m eyebrow and into my eye, and I could feel my body start to black out.

And then there was Edward.

Furious, and beautiful; attacking with such a grace that it seemed more like a tango then a fight. Even contorted with rage, his eyes seemed bright with life and animation, his features painfully gorgeous, nothing could compare. The way the two were fighting… was Edward like the woman? Was he… _something else?_ Like a cinquepace, their fight sped, and slowed to the beat of tune as old as time. Was that an embrace? Or merely a chokehold? A caress or a failed blow to the face? With such an enthralling performance, it was hard to take notice of much else. But I became acutely aware of Carlisle and Alice tending to Riley, and narrowed my eyes. _Of course the whole family is involved; what a shame, though. They all seemed so… normal; except Edward. He's beyond the norm. _My head throbbed, I could feel the blood pulsing out of my veins, and my eyes drooped shut. I wrenched my eyes open, in time to see Edward brush his lips across her neck and… And… Something went horribly, horribly wrong. Because that could _not _be Riley's body they were carrying away. She couldn't be dead. And that most definitely could not be Edward, grunting in agony and clutching his cheek tightly.

But most certainly, there was _not _a head rolling on the ground, with fierce red hair and frozen, dead black eyes. A standing corpse with no head; would it be in that position forever? And how did Emmett get here? Why does he have a gallon of gas in his hand? They weren't going to… Oh, no. A surprised gasp escaped me, and I clenched my eyes shut. I felt cold fingers brushing along my skin, tracing the cut, cleaning the blood. "Bella?" Edward's voice filled my ears, and I grasped his wrist, willing him to stop. A high keening sound; oh, please, I can smell the gas and the- I closed my eyes again, gripping Edward's wrist tighter. "Riley? She's alive?" I asked, barely able to speak. Edward called out to Carlisle. "What did you see? How much do you know?" his brow wrinkled in worry. I shook my head weakly, shaking him urgently. "Riley! Is she okay?" I repeated, desperate for an answer. "_How much do you know?"_ he hissed between clenched teeth. My eyes widened in surprise, and I felt tears form.

Carlisle bent over me, running gentle hands through my scalp. "I know you're not human. I know you're all fake," I whispered, growing tired. "The normal family act, all the charades. You're all fakes," I muttered. I let go of his wrist, growing weaker and weaker. "Riley… is she okay?" I couldn't understand them anymore, couldn't see. My vision cleared for a second, and I focused on a red strand of hair on Edward's shoulder. "She's not a ..," my vision went black, but somehow, I felt as if I was in a tunnel. My chest felt heavy, and strained. The air suddenly seemed thick, I couldn't breathe right. My back… was something compressing my lungs? My ribcage? Oh, I slammed into the tree, the crack I heard. What did I break? My head swam in confusion, and I struggled for air. Pain. My head, my sides, _my chest._ I was free, it was getting easier to breathe. "Open your eyes, Bella!" Was that a guardian angel? No, Carlisle. A locket swung from his shirt, and its insignia swerved into view. I recognized it instantly. I reached out for it once, missed, and caught it.

"You're the preacher's son."

The insignia of priests under Cromwell's rule.

_Would I ever see the aurora again?_


	4. Chapter 4

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**_t**he **n**umber **o**ne **q**uestion **i**s **h**ow **c**ould **y**ou **i**gnore **it_**

-- ---------- --

The rain poured down from the heavens, creating puddles in every exposed surface of Forks; practically turning the place into a lake. Bella looked up at the dark gray sky, and sighed as she exited the hospital, splashing into puddles without a second thought. Down the sidewalk, she could make out her friends waiting for her, crowded around the hood of Tyler's car. _'All except one,_' Bella thought sadly, pausing for a moment and looking back at the imposing building. She shivered as the rain made it through her layer of clothing, and was grateful when Tyler and Randy both wrapped arms around her, tucking her into their sides as they opened the car door for her. She glanced at Elliot as she scooted next to him.

He looked horrible. His clothes were wrinkled, and messy; his shoes didn't match, and he looked as if he'd gone days without sleep, a shower, and food. Bella's heart caught in her throat, and she reached for his hand only to have him shrug her off, and turn away from her completely. Tears brimmed over and down her cheeks as she placed her hand back in her lap and looked down at her muddy shoes. The rest of the group glanced at the scene, and awkwardly looked away. Tyler started the car, and instead of blasting the music, he kept it to minimum volume as he navigated through the rainstorm. _'Riley should be here to break this silence. She should be here to make things alright with Elliot and I. Riley would have never let things get like this. Riley should have-,'_ Bella closed her eyes to stop the onslaught of guilt and the heavy thoughts.

"Is anyone else here hungry? I'm starving. Bella, what do you want? You're always bitching that hospital food's disgusting. So what's it going to be? McDonald's? Wendy's? We have the whole fast food world, darling," Stephanie slurred, attempting to lighten the atmosphere. But she had mistakenly used Riley's favorite joke.

Elliot lashed out, his eyes narrowed.

"Shut the fuck up. Don't you dare say that shit again. That's Riley's thing. Not yours," his voice low and acidic, angry. Stephanie froze both in shock and fear. Then her eyes flashed.

"_Wrong_, Elliot dear. That _was _Riley's thing," Stephanie corrected harshly. Tyler and Randy jumped in.

"Stephanie, do you realize how utterly insensitive you're being at the freaking moment?!" Randy shouted, running a frustrated hand through his hair. Tyler did his best to calm Elliot down.

"You stupid confused bitch! Don't fucking call me dear. Do you fucking hear me?!" Elliot roared, and Tyler stopped the car to lean into the backseat and push Elliot down.

"Insensitive? I'm the insensitive one? You've got to be shitting me. Look what the hell he's doing to Bella!" Stephanie fought back, her voice rising in volume.

"Stephanie man, now's not the time! Come on! Don't make her feel worse," Randy pleaded, desperate for her to be quiet.

"That's the only person you care about! It's Bella! What about Riley?! Does anyone else but me remember that she's-" Elliot screamed; car horns and outraged shouts were heard outside as drivers maneuvered around Tyler's car.

'

"Get your head out of your ass, you dick. What about Bella? Or did you forget that she cares about Riley too? We all care about Riley, but she's _dead._ Right now, we have to help Bella, who's alive and breathing!" Stephanie snapped.

The whole car froze.

"Riley's not dead. She's still alive," Elliot whispered.

"She might as well be dead. She's in a coma, even the doctors said it'd be a miracle for her to live," she glared. "We have to help Bella," she repeated.

"Shut the fuck up," Elliot muttered. "Just like Riley's dead to you, Bella's dead to me."

Thunder clashed all around them as the car door slammed shut.

"You forgot she was in the car, didn't you?" Stephanie hissed, slapping Elliot in the face. He didn't react. Stephanie ran out of the car, dodging a car and waiting for another to pass by. By the time she made it to the corner, Bella had disappeared.

Stephanie came back, soaked and with dripping hair. "Fucker," she muttered darkly as Tyler circled the block and Randy called Bella's cell phone.

**-X-**

Bella scowled as she heard the sirens getting nearer, and ducked into an alleyway. Lightning struck, lighting up the night as she trudged in further. The rainstorm had been going on for half the day; didn't even show signs of stopping. She was going to get sick and die, mugged or raped, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She felt guilty, abandoned, and alone in a time like this. She blamed herself for Riley's… _condition. _She sighed even as the rain slid off the roof and into the back of her shirt, showering her in coldness. The town's only helicopter flew by, its light shining down and bright at the entrance of the alley. She smoothly ran the opposite direction, and hauled herself up on a fire escape ladder, hiding behind the stairs as the light passed her. She waited for a few moments, then made her way back down and out of the alley.

She strode over to where a wine red Mustang was being parked and shouldered the driver as they stepped out. The keys fell from the driver's hand and the driver was too preoccupied and getting back dry that he took no notice. Bella swooped down and picked up the keys, and slid inside as the owner shut the door of his house behind him. She started the car and sped down the road, bypassing the hospital on the way. Her phone rang in her pocket, vibrating to life against her leg. She bit the inside of her cheek, and ignored it for the umpteenth time that hour. She finally pulled into her driveway, exhausted, cold, and _wet. _

Charlie was sitting on the couch, a can of beer in one hand and the TV remote on the other hand. He sneered as she walked by, but did nothing. Bella sighed in relief and made her way up the stairs to her room, grabbing a duffel bag from the top of her closet and dumped clothes, chargers, and bathroom necessities into it before heading back down the stairs.

"Where the fuck are you going?" Charlie raised an eyebrow, the can being crushed into his fist.

"I'm staying at Stephanie's for the weekend, to help me cope with Riley's condition and all," Bella mumbled, looking at the floorboards beneath her soggy Reeboks.

"Serves you right, _dumb shit. _Who the hell told you to skip school in the godforsaken woods anyways?" Charlie muttered darkly as another can replaced the empty one.

* * *

-- ---------- --

**I d**on't **k**now **w**hat's **w**orth **f**ighting **f**or

-- ---------- --

I winced as I slipped out of the Mustang, promising myself I'd get one for myself someday soon. I sighed and walked into the crowded airport, people pushing and shoving all around me in a hurried frenzy. Completely annoyed, I waited in line for a good half hour before finally reaching the counter. The lady behind the counter was grouchy, and old. Not to mention bitchy. I clicked my teeth as she rattled on about some airline with special discounts or something like that.

"Listen lady, shut the hell up and tell me what's the farthest flight from here," I hissed between clenched her teeth and the lady's mouth snapped close in shock.

"Why! I've never-," she objected, her eyes going wide then narrowing with the oncoming bitch fit.

"I don't give a _fuck._ Just do your damn job, which you're failing miserably at, by the way. Get me a ticket to Rome, and make it a window seat. Oh, and make sure its _soon,_" I interrupted, twisting my hair out of my face as I continued.

The lady huffed, and typed noisily into her outdated computer, handing me a ticket and pointing me in the direction of the terminal.

"You're flight leaves in 30 minutes," she said, a Cheshire cat grin spreading its way on her lips.

"You bitch," I glared before flipping her off and jogging quickly towards my destination. I groaned as I saw the line to get through airport security.

A teenage boy of about 13 looked at me, a swirly lollipop in his mouth. I narrowed my eyes and hissed quietly at him, and he jumped back, screaming in fear and pushed his mother out of the way and gestured for me to skip him. I glanced at the mother, feigning a look of confusion before moving up in front of them. I looked at my next victim, a business man whose attention was consumed by a newspaper. It was not going to work on a middle aged prick.

"You should try being nice to those who attend you, and maybe you wouldn't be so stressed out to meet a nearly impossible deadline," a velvet voice deadpanned from behind me. I held back a gasp, and felt murderous anger rise up in me.

"Get _away _from me," I bit out, as I glanced over my shoulder at Edward. A brief look of agony crossed his features but gave way to a look of annoyance.

"I'm trying to help you," he quipped as he grabbed my elbow, towing me to the nearest officer. They exchanged low, mumbled voice and Edward flashed some sort of ID at him. The guard's eyes widened, and let me pass through without even glancing at my duffel bag.

"I've bet you've had loads of time to perfect your lying skills," I scowled, even as he continued to tow me towards my plane.

"Why Rome?" he asked, stopping abruptly causing me to stumble. I looked up at him, flicking hair out of my eyes bewildered.

"Why not Rome?" I answered testily, righting my balance at last.

"Don't go there," he pleaded, placing his hands in my shoulders. His eyes bore into mine, the topaz melting into smoldering amber; my breath hitched.

"Don't touch me. I need to get away from you, and your family. I need a fucking _break_," my voice broke as I looked away. "And this guilt is killing me. All I've thought about since I woke up at the hospital was what happened in the forest. And _Christ_, I'm going insane. How can I ever go back to my friends when all I can think is, 'I don't know why he picked me but I'm glad he did'? And the pathetic part is, I mean it. I don't want to die, I don't want to be in Riley's condition. I'm glad I'm _alive._"

"Your friends would understand that," Edward argued, his eyes searching my face as I looked back at him.

"Not Elliot, never him. He was like a brother to me, but he was desperately in love with Riley. Not Randy. Oh, God," I whispered as despair pierced through me again. I turned away as I headed towards the plane. I didn't want to say goodbye to Edward, and I couldn't take one last look at him.

Instead, I just kept walking.

My phone rang as I neared the flight attendant, and _Stephanie _flashed across the screen. I froze for a second, looking at her picture. She was smiling, her blonde hair catching the light and her eyes shining at me. Tears formed in my eyes, and I blinked them away.

"Miss?" The flight attendant asked me tentatively. I looked up at her, and smiled politely.

Then I snapped off the upper lid of my phone, and let the pieces fall to the floor and get crushed under my heel. I finally turned back and looked at Edward, who was watching me intently, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"Cancel my account with the company, yeah?" I grinned sadly and finally ducked into the plane.

* * *

-- ---------- --

**o**r **w**hy **I h**ave **t**o **scream**

-- ---------- --

I clicked my tongue irritably as I glanced at my wrist watch for the umpteenth time. They were late. The waiter came by, a handsome black haired man with broad shoulders, and tapped his pad impatiently. I grimaced at him and looked around for someone who might be heading towards the table I was seated. No such luck. Growling under my breath, I threw down some euros to pay for the coffee and his tip before pushing the chair away from the table and strolling out of the outdoor café. I joined the crowd on the sidewalk, just letting them pull me along as I admired the city of Rome as the sun's heat beat down on me in what seemed like pulses. This city had always been alive with a different kind of life, and it always seemed to entrance me, pulling me in until I was lost in the ancient wonders the city had to offer me. Thankfully, it was late summer so not many tourists were polluting the city seeing as school would be starting back in America so when I found myself facing the Trevi Fountain, I didn't mind the crowd as much. Back at my apartment, I had negatives, profiles, dozens of photos of the fountain just littering my dark room, but I hadn't the heart to throw them away. Tugging my phone out of the pocket of my skinny jeans, I texted my secretary quickly, my fingers flying over the touch screen before cramming it back inside.

In Rome, thanks to some prearranged help from Edward, my name became Bella DiSchiuso, and I became a freelance photographer for fashion and travel magazines, gossip papers and newspapers alike. I was world renowned and very _very_ wealthy. I lived alone in central Rome and had enough friends to keep me busy sipping beers back at their place to keep me from thinking of the friends I had left behind. My history was both fake but believable, so no one in America would have any reason to think that Isabella Swan and Bella DiSchiuso are the same person. My appearance had changed within the last four years, originally I had cut my hair short and had it dyed to a deep, rich honey color that bordered on light brown, got colored hazel contacts, and got much tanner. But as my body grew longer and thinner, my hair grew out of its short crop and into extremely choppy layers that made my hair look like a hot mess even on a good day. The only downside to all of this was that I had to check in with the Cullens once every two months and in turn they would tell me how everything back home was doing.

Charlie had gone to rehab, all of the AA meetings, and was out and now waited for my arrival every day, sitting on the front porch with a new bouquet of flowers and tears only minutes away. Elliot had finished out high school with the gang, but his personality took a turn for the worse and afterwards he went off to UCLA and he visited as often as he possibly could and didn't have eyes for anyone but Riley. Stephanie had left the gang shortly after I left, hung out more with the La Push kids, getting more reckless and uncaring by the day. She passed high school and opted to go to Boston for college. Randy and Tyler stayed together in their decisions, made it through high school with Elliot but stayed in Forks, going to the local community college so that they could see everyone else when they visited, and still be able to see Riley. Meanwhile, I had hit it big, and eventually managed to pay back the Cullens the money they had lent me so that she could get started. I'm fully independent and had a pent house apartment in one of the more prestigious complexes where many famous actors lived and was being flown to different parts of the world by my employers every odd week. But I'm alone.

The phone in her pocket vibrated against my hip, digging it out, I jabbed the answer button aggressively after glancing at the caller ID, answering in fluid Italian.

"Pronto."_ (Hello.)_

"_Signora DiSchiuso?" _(Miss DiSchiuso?).

"Si? Chi è questo?" _(Who is this?)_

"_È Aldo Brancato. __A parlare della riunione di lavoro." _(It's Aldo Brancato. To talk about the business meeting.)

"Oh, certamente. A proposito di come avete sprecato il mio tempo con la vostra incompetenza?" _(Oh, of course. About how you wasted my time with your incompetence?). _

"_Ora, guarda qui. Siamo molto impegnati persone, e abbiamo assunto, tu lavori per noi." _ (Now, look here. We are very busy people, and we hired you, you work for us.)

"Sbagliato. Io non lavoro per voi. Tu mi ha chiamato e mi ha chiesto di fare un tiro di foto per voi, per non salire a bordo di un dipendente. E per quanto riguarda la riunione d'affari, non vi sarà alcun rinegoziazione. Qualsiasi rinegoziazione avrebbe dovuto essere fatto prima della scadenza originariamente concordato. Ti ho mandato i termini da me a prendere il posto di lavoro, quando hai chiesto che hai firmato e approvato dai. Ora devo circa ottocento euro per i 45 minuti che ho sprecato aspettando in quel caffè, come documentato dal cameriere e telecamere di sicurezza. Tutti nel contratto che avevo inviato via fax al vostro ufficio circa cinque minuti fa con la vostra firma in fondo. Arrivederci." _(Wrong. I don't work for you. You called me and asked me to do a photo shoot for you, not to come aboard as an employee. And as for the business meeting, there will be no rescheduling. Any rescheduling should have been done before the time originally agreed upon. I sent you the terms of me taking this job when you first asked which you signed and agreed by. You now owe about eight hundred euros for the 45 minutes I wasted waiting in that cafe as documented by the waiter and security cameras. All in the contract I had faxed to your office about five minutes ago with your signature at the bottom. Goodbye.)_

Ending the call, I kept the phone in my hand as she walked through the glass doors of a business building alive with ringing phones, harassed assistants, and haywire electronics. Crossing the extravagant lobby to the elevator pool, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. A worn and paint stained with neon colors large Metallica shirt with tight medium denim colored skinny jeans and ACDC high top converse. _'And I was the owner of this corporation, of this building, of my own business.' _I shook of the awe that always overcame me, and pressed the button to the top floor. The doors opened after a few minutes, and I traded my phone for the coffee cup my secretary handed me and made a beeline for my office. I set down the heavy camera that hung around my neck on the glass desk and took my place behind my iMac computer in the plush swivel chair that looked out of place but loved just the same. My secretary was a freshmen in college, petite with dyed dark red hair and colored contact gray eyes. I had no idea what her name was.

Setting down my schedule for the day in front of me, I reprimanded her for booking me to shoot with Ferre as I hated his taste in models and told her in a cold, emotionless voice that I would instead be going to the Canon factory to see if they had any new cameras for me to try out and test. Dismissing her, I turned to the computer, typing replies to emails and began to edit the pictures, and enhancing the features of some models to attract my audience's eyes both to the product and the model. The phone on my left started beeping, _(it's Ferre! He wants to know why you cancelled on him, he isn't happy!)_, I picked up and pressed the flashing _Line 1_ button.

Sighing, I assured Ferre that I would be more than happy to reschedule his shoot and politely suggested to pick another model seeing as though the one he favored was both bitchy, and came out as hideous as inhumanely possible in a picture. Besides, she was probably sleeping with him seeing as she had no other offers for modeling work. Curling my lip in slight disgust, I hung up the phone in good terms with Ferre and wasted no time in telling my secretary that I shouldn't have to make my own excuses when that's what I'm paying her for. My cell phone that my secretary had placed next to my coffee vibrated again and seeing _'Edward'_ flash across the screen propelled me to snatch the phone quickly to my phone and I jumped to my feet, walking out my office doors and towards the elevator.

"It's a busy day, today." Several employees came up to me, all with different papers and pictures for me to approve and sign on and I pointed them towards my secretary exasperatedly.

"_You're always busy when it comes to calling us, Miss Swan." _ Grinding my teeth together, I glanced at a photo one of my senior photographers had taken and edited before ripping it and throwing it to the floor.

"Don't call me that, unless you want me to head on over to CNN." Finally having made it to the elevator doors with no more interruptions, I tapped my foot impatiently against the marble floor.

"_That didn't work out well for you last time, and it won't work out a second. Give up that silly little threat. Arguing is not what I called you for." _The elevator dinged open, and began its descent towards the first floor lobby.

"I assumed as much. I still had a good two weeks left to call your family. What's happened?" The security guard nodded over to the town car waiting at the front of the building, my driver holding out the door for me.

"_It's Riley. She's…awake." _I froze momentarily on my way out the doors, and dozens of cameras flashed in my direction as I was recognized up and down the street by both tourists and paparazzi.

"That's…great." The words were heavy in my throat, and I fell onto the leather backseat with a dull thud as shock started to wear down on me.

"_There's a problem. When Victoria attacked her that last time, some of the venom had gone into her. And it was very minimal as we didn't even smell of it. All this time she's been in a coma, we thought it was because of her injuries..." _The grip on my phone tightened, my stomach clenched and I immediately began dreading the next words that were to come but remained silent.

"_As fate would have it, she's one of us. And it gets worse, she's revealed it to Elliot who not only refuses to stay away but is looking for you. And he knows we have something to do with your appearance. So the only deal we could make with him is that we will bring you to him in exchange for his silence." _ My throat seized up as my driver got caught in traffic.

"Why does he want... me?" I drew deep breaths to calm my stomach down.

"_He.., well, he wants to know whether we're murderers and he wants to see how much you know. And to make Riley happy. She's been asking for you. " _ I opened the car door just in time as my stomach started to heave, and I was emptying out all the food I had eaten onto the cobblestone street. The driver asked me incoherent questions in alarm before handing me a bottle of water through the window dividing us.

"Do I have a choice?"

"_No." _I took a swig from the bottle, and spit it out, cleaning my mouth. I slammed the door closed and leaned back into the seat.

"Brilliant."

* * *

-- ---------- --

**_i w**ant **t**o **b**e **i**n **t**he **e**nergy, **n**ot **w**ith **t**he **e**nem**y_**

-- ---------- --

It was raining in Forks, like it always had been when she had lived there. 21 year old Bella stepped into her hometown, no longer the independent, successful Bella DiSchiuso, but the reckless, law breaking and angry Isabella Swan that had skipped town six years ago and left behind a broken group of friends and a completely destroyed house whose owner was alive by the skin of his teeth. She had taken a week vacation as soon as her workday had ended, her first vacation ever, and had arrived in Washington just a few hours ago. Dawn would come in an hour, hour and a half at most and in the absence of sunlight, chills ran down her spine. Her breaths drew clouds in the air before her before disintegrating into nothing. She couldn't help but wonder if what was happening to her being here was somewhat similar to that. Her hair dyed back to its natural color, and the colored contacts off, she began to walk, her iPod blaring an Evanescence CD into her ear, and her first professional camera hung around her neck. It was worn, and outdated but she loved it with what was left of her mangled heart and was her safety blanket in a way. The street her father's house lay on swerved into view, with one flickering streetlight casting a beautifully eerie glow onto a small, nearly withered flower that barely grew in the middle of a pond-like puddle. Biting her lip, she checked the film in the camera, before taking a picture. Zooming in, and another _click. _Darkening the lens, _click. _Punching the settings back to normal, she kept walking towards her father's house, slightly calmer than she originally had been and being careful not to tread into any puddles.

The porch light was on.

_ Charlie scowled in the kitchen, throwing his dinner onto the linoleum floor in disgust. Bella squirmed nervously in the seat opposite, fingers twitching under the table as she slowly inched her chair away from him. Charlie rose, red rising onto his face, drunken eyes having trouble fixing onto her. In one furious roar, he swept the table and its contents to the floor, the table on its side, no longer separating father and daughter. Bella sprung out of her seat, kicking her chair towards her father as an obstacle before running towards the stairs. _

"_Go on, run you little shit! Just like your mother! But I'll be waiting for you here with the porch light on! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'LL BE WAITING RIGHT HERE FOR YOU!" he bellowed into the night air, and Bella dropped from her window, running towards Riley's apartment dreading her return. _

Bella reached the porch, tensed her shoulders as the wooden steps creaked but continued the trek to the door. Her keys clattered together as her hands shook but she got the key in the keyhole and swung the door open to reveal a tidy living room. A rug was covering majority of the tiled floor, shielding both bloodstains and bad memories from the surface. The TV had been replaced with a slightly newer version that didn't look so abused, or used at all really. She closed the door behind her, the lock clicking with an ominous sound. The kitchen hallway light was on, and she could make out a lone shadow stretched out on the wall.

"B-Bella?"

_"BELLA! IS THAT YOU?! YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW! STOP STALLING! I CAN HEAR YOU!" The chair scraped horrifically, and the shadow on the wall shrunk until she could see the silhouette of her father stalking out of the darkness and into the light of the kitchen hallway. Bella swallowed nervously, stepping back into the living room. _

_ "YOU'VE CUT CLASS AGAIN? WHERE DID YOU GO OFF TO WITH THOSE BOYS?! YOU LITTLE SLUT, YOU WERE WHORING AROUND WEREN'T YOU?! WEREN'T YOU?! JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER, ALWAYS LIKE YOUR MOTHER! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE?! WHY CAN'T YOU BE GOOD?! Always like your mother… Why couldn't she love me?" Charlie's red eyes gathered tears that spilled over flushed cheeks and he began to cry much like a child in the middle of the hallway. Weary, Bella came close to her father, and hugged him slowly, cautiously. Minutes passed. A sickening thud, and Bella was thrown across the floor. _

"_Always like your mother."_

She walked into the kitchen, hearing the chair slide across the floor quietly in time for her father to stand just as she appeared in his line of sight. There was a cup of coffee that was still steaming on a table that looked unfamiliar to her, a table that was clean, and made of dark wood, and stood sturdy. The kitchen was nearly spotless, except for an old cabinet door that was stained with water damage from an old thunderstorm. Dishes were clean and being dried in a rack next to the sink, sitting next to a new coffeemaker under school pictures, group pictures, old pictures of Bella and her friends, Bella and her mother, and of Bella herself. Charlie himself looked surprised, and shocked; dark brown hair hanging low into his chocolate brown eyes that mirrored Bella's, bags coloring his high cheekbones. He looked tired, and worn out but soon, wrinkles at the corners of his eyes appeared and he smiled as tears made their way down sandpaper like cheeks. He still towered her by a half foot, and he used it to his advantage by enveloping her in a hug. Her eyes remained fixed on a picture of her and her mother, even as her arms slowly hugged him back lightly. Pulling back, he looked from her to the picture and a light bulb went on in his head.

"You're nothing like you're mother. I'm sorry for everything. I love you."

Bella looked at her father, and hugged him, sobbing into his shoulder. Her father clutched her to him happily, euphoric tears making his face.

-- ---------- --

**_a** **p**lace **f**or **m**y **h**ea**d_**

-- ---------- --

* * *

Hey.

Sorry for the extremely late update, bad case of writer's block.

I'm really so sorry.

At least my writing got better... kind of?

Any criticism is welcomed, as long as its not a flame.

Thank you(:


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, it's almost been a year since the last update, but its entirely all your fault. **

**Only two reviews, when I asked for ten. But I feel bad for punishing them and whatnot. **

**So my very deep thanks to Musette Fujiwara and peacesaveslol. **

**This chapter's dedicated to you two. **

**Oh, and if I don't get ten reviews, I will take down the story once and for all. **

P.S. I don't own Twilight, or the lines/setting in the restaurant scene that I stole from Stephenie Meyer. From here on out, the story will be as close to canon as I can make it.

**

* * *

_m**emories **c**onsume **l**ike **o**pening **a** **w**oun**d_**

When Edward came to pick her up a few hours later, she could still feel the jetlag at the edge of her mind. Somehow, she knew that no matter what step she took, the day would end in disaster. Biting her lip, she rifled through the CDs in the glove compartment before sliding in Debussy. _Claire de Lune_ trickled into the silent car, and she melted into the calming notes, feeling her muscles loosen as she leaned against the leather of the car. The world outside Edward's Volvo was dreary and gray, trees towering into the rumbling sky and she remembered how everything in Forks blended in together into some monotone mix on days like these. The change was comforting in its familiarity, compared to the shockingly bright colors of Rome. Bella stalled getting out of the car, her hands nervously gripping her camera, as she climbed out, her Adidas sinking into the slightly moss covered forest floor. Biting her lip, she started the trek to the front door hoping violently that Edward would not make her go in.

"What are you thinking of?" His voice chimed next to her ear, words flowing like a song. Glancing at him, then back at the ominous looking house, she shrugged.

"Fate's a cruel lady," she said simply, the door opening in front of her to reveal Alice.

"We would have been great friends if you had found out about us some other way," Alice murmured quietly. Not knowing what to say, Bella ignored her.

The living room was modern, with a glass wall revealing a beautiful view of the forest and the rocky beach. Bella paid the view no attention, her eyes focusing on the two figures that were sitting on the couch, huddled together. Riley looked the same, but different. Her hair had grown out of its short length, brushing the beginning of her waist while the purple streaks look brighter than they ever had, going up to her roots. Her eyes were a vibrant red that shocked Bella, causing her to take a step back away from her. Her skin was paler, looking almost as white as the moon. But, oh, Riley was beautiful. It made her heart ache to see what she had missed. Elliot looked like shit. He had bags under his eyes, and he had lost seemingly half his weight. His hair looked like it had been cut recently, and he sported the same hairstyle that he had six years ago, red streaks and all. He looked at Bella indifferently, which she supposed, was the best response she could ask for.

The tension hung thickly in the air, and Bella had the vague thought that maybe she could cut through it with a knife. None of the three said a thing, all of them frozen staring at the other.

"I still blame you," Elliot's words struck through the distance and hit home. Bella took a staggering step back, and felt a shaky smile form on her face. It felt awkward, and the effort was just straining her, but she could feel the jetlag roar its ugly head at her so she grabbed onto the wall for support.

"I know," she bit her lip, her right hand desperately clutching the camera. Edward was at her side, placing a hand at the small of her back to support her. She leaned into him.

"How could you disappear like that? How could you leave me here alone with Riley? How could you leave _us?_ Do you know how scared we were? We thought you were dead!" he yelled at her, the words bouncing off the glass and back at her.

"How could _I?_ You're asking me that? I was dead to you! You said so yourself!" Bella retaliated, her exhaustion and sadness turning into anger. Elliot got up from Riley, and Riley did nothing to stop him, already struggling with the human blood in the room.

"I was grieving Bella! How could you take me so seriously?" he walked over to her, making sure to invade her personal space.

"And you didn't think I wasn't? With all the shit I was dealing with, you didn't think I wasn't getting as fucked up over what happened as you were? Goddammit Elliot! You're life wasn't perfect, but it was a shitload better than mine! Charlie was beating me half to death, and then my friend was dying on me! WHAT DID YOU EXPECT FROM ME?" Elliot fell into silence as Bella shoved him away from her.

"I WAS FIFTEEN! I WAS SCARED SHITLESS, AND NEAR DEATH AND IF I HAD GONE HOME, CHARLIE WOULD HAVE FINISHED THE JOB THAT THE VAMPIRE BITCH STARTED! I couldn't stay here!" She was panting, the room was whirling before her but she didn't care.

"You could have asked.. you could have talked to us," he muttered.

"WHAT WAS THERE THAT I COULD SAY? That something straight out of sci-fi books came and nearly killed me and Riley? That I was _sorry_? Sorry wouldn't begin to cover it with you, not with anybody! I was still trying to deal with it! It wasn't easy coming back into the hospital, hell it wasn't easy for me to get in that car! I died once, did anyone tell you? I died, and I came back because I wanted to come back to you guys! I wanted to fix things, I thought there was a chance that Riley was alive, and that she could help me fix things!" Rain was pouring down; it thudded sharply against the glass wall like pebbles.

"Then tell me!" Elliot pushed off the ground, staring Bella down.

"No, you don't know what you're asking of me."

"Tell me."

"_No! _ Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

Elliot grabbed her arms, shaking her in frustration. "Tell me!"

"No!" Thunder crashed and rolled all around the house as the former friends battled it out.

* * *

**_i**'m **p**icking** m**e **a**part **a**gai**n_**

I sighed irritably as I dropped onto the couch and mindlessly started flipping channels. Charlie was upstairs napping, and I was less than thrilled to be staying here for a daunting nine more days. My phone vibrated to life in my pocket, and picking up, I headed to my discarded luggage at the base of the stairs, pulling out my laptop and a wireless router. After sharing a few words with my secretary, I hung up and set up the internet so that I could get some work done before the day was done. Pictures popped up in an email, and I almost sighed longingly. Pictures that I had taken just the night before edited, and cropped; they looked amazing. Smiling slightly, I gave the okay to the email, and decided to write a congratulatory note to one of my senior photographers. The internet faltered, and I packed the laptop up again as I realized that with this kind of service, even dial up wouldn't get anything done. I wandered into the kitchen, looking for food. Minutes passed, and I grabbed the house phone to order a pizza for Charlie and I. I settled on top of the counter, swinging my feet back and forth, tapping my fingers against the counter impatiently.

_"No!" Thunder crashed and rolled all round the house as the former friends battled it out. _

_ "What the hell do you want to know? The day at the forest my mind was in a freefall! I was spinning out of control, and I didn't know what to do, or where to go! I was just trying to calm down, how the fuck was I supposed to know that Riley was chasing me down? How the fuck was I even supposed to guess that something like that would happen?" Bella was panting, and Edward's arm was wrapped around her waist, fully supporting her weight. Elliot stood across from her, tense. _

_ "One minute, I'm just watching deer. The next, I'm hauling ass, trying to get away from something that was much more powerful than me. I was in a clearing when I hear screaming, and it was Riley. Her right arm looked broken, and she had a huge cut in her left arm. She was covered in her own blood. And the vampire just..attached herself to Riley like a fucking lollipop. Before I knew it, I was thrown back, and I was just hysterical and frantic. I had no idea if she was alive or dead, but I was hoping. And then I'm out like a light!"_

The roar of an engine cut me off from my train of thought, Bon Jovi's _Living on a Prayer _electrifying the air. The beginning of a headache pounded in my temples, and annoyed, I set out towards the front door. The fog lights on top of a Jeep blinded me almost immediately, making me grit my teeth together as the headache went from pounding to hammering.

"Holy shit, he wasn't joking. Holy shit," a familiar voice filtered in, and I frowned.

"Duuuude! She's alive! How sweet is this? It'll be like the whole gang's back together!" a male voice yelled out, enthusiasm filling his tone. _Gang? What the hell?_ Then realization struck. Stephanie, Randy and Tyler. I felt my eyes widen, and I jumped the railing of the porch, hearing Steph curse behind me. I sprinted to the Volvo Edward had lent me, rolling over the hood of the car, and falling into the driver's seat. I groaned as the middle compartment dug into my ribs, but Steph was already hauling ass to the car, so I shoved the keys into the ignition and slammed the car into reverse. I yelped at the sudden acceleration, and shifted the gear into drive as I finally straightened up.

"BELLA! IMMA GET YOU! IT'S A SMALL TOWN, YOU CAN'T RUN FOR LONG YOU BITCH!"

**_a**nother **w**ave** o**f **t**ensio**n_**

"I knew you were going to destroy my car," Edward frowned, surveying the damage. "It's a good thing I lent you the least expensive."

Bella cried out, insulted.

"It's not my fault. You try dealing with Stephanie's temper. She's a firecracker, that one," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. She took the momentary silence to survey the garage around her.

"What are you thinking? It's so odd, but I can never tell with you," he spoke quietly, leaning away from her slightly. His eyes looked into her face, smoldering then cooling and then back again. It caught Bella off guard.

"You must think I'm pathetic," she mumbled, her lips twisting off to one side in a small, sad smile. Edward stood, frozen for a minute, pouring over her words.

Then suddenly, his hands were on her face, tilting her chin up to look at him, his lips just inches away but from this distance, she could see that he wasn't breathing. Her eyes dropped to his lips, then away. Why did she suddenly feel a pull to him? Where did this come from?

"I think you're beautiful," he whispered, and her breath caught in her throat. Her eyes flew to his in surprise, and his angelic face looked pained, torn even. She felt her heartbeat race in her wrists, sparks flying up and down her veins like wildfire. Her eyes dropped down to his lips again. She wanted to… And so she did.

Little Bella stretched out on her tiptoes, and kissed Edward right on the lips.

* * *

**_s**ay **w**hat** i** **d**on't **m**ea**n_**

The sun was rising in the distance, but for now, it seemed like twilight. The aurora was fading rapidly by the minute, while the waves crashed and roared against the Cliffside in an almost chaotic tandem. The last of the Quiletes' howling still trembled in the air, and I watched them turn and run in wonder, seeing the rippling fur and muscles in motion as they integrated into the forest with a mystical kind of grace. Sighing, I reached inside the Volvo, and flicked on the AUX input, my iPod playing Owl City's _The Saltwater Room. _I leaned back against the car door, the sun's weak light doing nothing to penetrate the winter cold all around.

A shrieking howl sounded off close behind me, and goose bumps broke out on my skin. I half stumbled off the car, twisting my terrified body to look behind me. Flashes of pale white and russet, each tackling the other in a battle of dominance made me back further away from the woods. I stood frozen, feet away from the cliff's edge and watching in anticipation as the fact that two of the very same wolves I have admired since I was a kid were fighting in front of me. Well, that didn't exactly spell out safe to me. A growl erupted in the early morning light, surprising me so much that I fell on my ass. Was I really_ that _zoned out?

"I did tell you that you couldn't run away for long, right?" Steph's voice sounded amused, and warily, I grabbed her hand as she heaved me up into a standing position. I watched her closely as she stepped away from me and shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her skinny jeans and faced the rising sun.

"I always knew you'd come back one day," she said softly, her face not giving anything away to me. "Whether it was when Riley woke up, or _something_, I knew you would. I just hoped that it you'd come back for me, you know? I'm not trying to be self-centered or anything, I haven't changed much, but you were the closest person to me ever. Closer than my family, and you just upped and left. That was just traumatizing for me, having that shit happen when I was fifteen. "

"Steph, you have to understand," I pleaded brokenly, feeling the guilt overwhelm me and I felt claustrophobic. "Even now, I-"

"Oh, shut up," she rolled her eyes, smirking slightly, "Elliot called. He told me everything. That kid spent half his paycheck these past couple of years looking for your ass. We're not asking you to tell us, but when you go away again, at least call every once in a while?

"Major shit's gone down since you left," her tone morphed again, into something melancholic. "I said before that you leaving me at fifteen was traumatizing, but I need to explain. You've been with me since birth practically, and I figure, if I haven't come to terms with what I am just yet then maybe telling you will help. Because to me, you're kind of like the epitome of who I was before, you know? Like everything in my life comes down to Bella, and Post-Bella.

"Bella," she paused, ran a hand through her hair and sighed. Years of friendship told me that she was getting frustrated with herself, and it wouldn't be long before she started cursing out everyone's ancestor. "I'm a witch.

"Do you remember that fortune teller those years ago?" she barreled on, not giving me a chance to react to her confession. I nodded wordlessly. "She was right, to some extent. My mother kept this from me until my sixteenth birthday. It's none of that movie bullshit, or Wicca or whatever. It's just… everything you know? The earth and the fire, and nature. It's this feeling that's deep down inside of you and it pulls you. Makes you use it, makes it hurt to not use it."

"It's a part of who she is," a deeper voice filled in the lull in her explanation, snapping us both out of our thoughts. Steph turned towards the newcomer, and settled her hand on her hips, smirking up at him.

"Remember me?" the boy flashed a smile at me, pearly white teeth blinding me for a second. I felt my forehead crumple with concentration as I eyed him up and down. He was taller than me, and tanned, with shaggy black hair falling into his russet eyes. But the way he flashed that smile, and those dimples…

"Jake?" I gasped, eyeing him again to compare my last memory of the annoying, scrawny kid to this… man. "Jesus, kiddo. You make me feel like I've been gone a decade!"

"Don't be too hard on yourself," Steph muttered as she punched Jake lightly in the shoulder. "It's 'cause he can't age. He's one of the Quiletes, Bells."

More than anything, _that _took me by surprise. "What the hell? Why is practically everyone I know becoming something that's not even supposed to exist?" I ranted, fisting my hands at my hips angrily.

"So you_ do _know about the Cullens," Jake raised an eyebrow at me and crossed his arms before glancing down at Stephanie. "Pay up. I _told _you she'd make the connection."

Curses flew out of her mouth in a rapid speed, and she clawed out her wallet from her back pocket before forking over a few crumpled up bills. "Fuck. I thought since she was out for so long-"

"Wait a minute. You guys know about them?" I asked, feeling dizzy with all this new knowledge. "How the fuck do the Volturri not know that practically half of Forks knows already?"

"Well, that's easy. The wolves and I need to be secret too, so it's okay that we know because we need all this secrecy bullshit as well," Steph shrugged. "And Riley's going to change Elliot as soon as she can get some control over herself."

"And Randy and Tyler? What, are they like... werebats or something?" I murmured exasperatingly as I ran a hand through my hair. Jake let out a roar of laughter, swinging an arm around Steph for support.

"Nah, but Randy's Steph's familiar or something," Jake finally admitted, and Steph wrinkled her nose beside him.

"You're making him sound like he's gay or something," she rolled her eyes, and then turned back to me. "Tyler's normal, so far as he knows. But I don't really know… I have a feeling his human status is going to be changed sometime soon."

"Can someone explain to me what are the chances of having so much supernatural shit happen in the smallest, most boring town in the continental U.S. all at once?" I demanded, shoving away from the pair as I did. "No, seriously. If it wasn't for this secrecy thing, this shit would go down in history. Fucking witches, wolves and vampires? Is there like, a secret war or something too?"

"Dude, don't pull a Leo from Transformers on me," Steph said, turning serious suddenly as she clutched my shoulders to keep me still. "Maybe you should get some food and sleep. You're probably all fucked up 'cause of the jetlag and shit. And it might have been too soon to spring everything else on you too, now that I'm really thinking about it."

Pulling in a deep breath, I walked towards the Volvo, unlocking the car door as I spoke, "You still know me like the back of your hand, Steph. But seriously, anything else I should know about?"

Jake strode forward as I shut the door closed and the car roared to life. He leaned close to me as I lowered the window for him, searching thoroughly through my eyes. "Yeah, one other thing: if they bite someone, treaty's over."

"Bite? Like change someone? Then what about Elliot?" my frown deepened, as my eyes trailed over to Steph who was standing a distance away from us. Her mouth was twisted into a sneer as she glared daggers at Jacob's back.

"Doesn't matter who it is. We'll bring the fight to their doorstep once they change him," Jake shrugged nonchalantly, his face carefully blank. Stephanie growled behind him, stomping closer to us.

"No, you won't. They're in love, they have been for years and you won't stop them."

Jake glanced over his shoulder at her, then back at me. "You should probably go now. We'll see each other again soon," he grinned at me again before leaning away from the car, allowing me to speed off.

Looking into my rearview mirror at the standoff between the most unusual pair of my life, I could tell something huge was going to affect all of us. And, for the sake of being melodramatic, it would change our lives _forever_.

* * *

**_h**olding **o**n** t**o **w**hat **I** **h**aven't **g**o**t** **_**

When I finally got up from my long nap, I barreled on through the stairs and dropped my laundry onto the bottom stair and snagged my laptop out from where I had stashed it, carrying it into the kitchen. I glanced at the corner of the screen for the date, and twisted my lips thoughtfully. Only eight more days in this place, and I had no idea how I felt about it. Shaking the thought away, I tended to my work and emailed an apology to all the canceled appointments. By the time my phone sprung to life beside me, I was a bit past annoyed, so much that I answered without looking at the caller ID, opting to continue on editing pictures and managing the wellbeing of my company's stock.

_"Bella, we need to talk," _Edward's voice flooded me with coldness and dread as I remembered vaguely running away from him.

"Um, do we really? I mean, I'm fine not talking and just doing my work, you know?" I mumbled, my attention fully diverted from the work in front of me now.

_"Please, Bella,"_ his voice melted, and I felt my heart speed up dangerously in my chest. How could I refuse when he said it like _that?_

"When?" I barely managed to choke out, feeling conflicted over this. I'm pretty sure I had been conned into this, somehow.

"_Just come outside,"_ he replied, and I glared at my phone, his words reassuring what I suspected. He had tricked me-, _"I'm waiting."_

My unconscious resolve to tell him to shove it up his ass was cut off as the line disconnected, leaving me listening to the dial tone in shock. Grumbling, I saved my work and powered off my laptop, already mentally complaining about how I was just _never_ going to get any work done. I crossed the driveway to the passenger seat of his Aston Martin quickly, trying not to roll my eyes at his choice of car as I slid into the smooth leather seat.

Edward turned to me, giving me a crooked smile that left me breathless as he backed out of my street, and began the drive out of town. After the silence ensued for a good number of minutes, I looked over at him uneasily. Being trapped in a car with a guy you kissed and then ran away from is kind of awkward.

"What are you thinking of _now_?" he asked, a slight undertone of frustration coloring his tone. I pursed my lips, looking at his profile then back out my windshield.

"Why are you always asking me that? You act like it's this whole big thing that you can't tell what I'm thinking," I sighed, before looking at him through narrow eyes, "Why is that, I wonder?"

Edward glanced at me, the tension in his frame palpable even in his conflicted gaze and I knew he was making the decision right then whether or not to tell me the truth.

"You can trust me, you know," I murmured, leaning forward in my intensity. "Me of all people, you can trust. I may have been pretty reckless with just about any situation that came my way and that I pretty much lashed out on everybody around me but I've never felt this connected to someone, you know? I've never… been tied so closely to someone like this."

Edward shook his head, his eyes sliding back to the road in front of him, the car accelerating under his foot. "Don't say that, I'm much too dangerous. You should know that."

"You're not dangerous. You could have hurt me long before now if you were," I argued, settling back into my seat. "Besides, we _are_ connected now. There's nothing either of us can do to change that."

"Connected," he scoffed, as the speedometer inched higher on the dashboard. "Where did all this connected ideology come from anyways?"

I shrugged, fiddling with my seat belt. "When I went back to school in Europe, I met some really interesting people and they had these theories, concepts really, about fate and people's destiny. It was like an epiphany really, I felt it in every nerve that this was what was right for me."

"An epiphany?" he asked skeptically as we sped into Port Angeles, "tell me more then."

"People that meet and instantly set off a strong emotion in one or the other will always from then on be like a permanent fixture in their lives," I continued, feeling slightly self conscious, "Like with you and me. When we met, I kind of really disliked you. Years later, we're still around each other. And you were basically the only stable thing for me throughout all those years."

He stayed silent after that, and I found myself pouring over everything I say in case I offended him. When we finally reached our destination, it was dark outside, and getting colder by the minute. Stepping outside, goose bumps erupted across my skin as I shivered, clutching my arms to keep the little warmth I had. We were across the street from an Italian restaurant called La Bella Italia, which from our spot on the lightless curb looked like the sun. I frowned as Edward slammed his car door shut, at the same time a group of older, drunken men stumbled their way down the sidewalk leering at me.

"Well, hello there sugar," one man called out, eyeing my body hungrily and elbowing a friend of his. "Why don't you ditch the rich kid and get down and dirty with me?"

His friends roared with laughter, doubling over in mirth as one of them fell to the cement clutching his stomach. Edward snatched my elbow, practically hauling me across the street and in front of the restaurant where he let me go. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were deep black fire that lit my body up in a scorching haze of fire that had my toes curling in my shoes.

"Honestly, that was nothing. They were just joking around, I get it all the time," I insisted, looking up to scrutinize his face some more. The black fire still hadn't died out, but blazed even more brightly as he raised an eyebrow at me and yanked open the front door.

"Humor me."

Rolling my eyes at his behavior, I walked past him and greeted the host, finally securing a booth in a private empty corner of the restaurant. He sat still in his chair, looking intently at me as his anger died out. Our server arrived, flipping a strand of short black hair behind one ear and smiled with excessive warmth.

"Hello. My name is Amber, and I'll be your server tonight. What can I get you to drink?" She leaned towards him, ignoring my existence. Biting my tongue, I shifted my hand so that the fork would clash against the side of the plate, holding back a smirk as _Amber_ jumped up in surprise.

"I'll have a Coke," I said innocently, looking her steadily in the eye.

"Two Cokes," Edward added.

"I'll be right back with that," she assured him with a flirtatious smile, throwing me a disgusted look over her shoulder, as Edward took no notice of her. He was looking at _me. _

"What?" I demanded, fidgeting with the cloth napkin in my lap.

"For a minute, you were acting like the Bella I first met again," he said indifferently and I shrugged in response.

"I've always been very good at maintaining myself."

"I'm glad, it would have been a shame if someone with your character had just been muted," his face twisted up into that perfect crooked smile before chuckling at my puzzled expression.

I shivered slightly as the server came back with the drinks, taking a long gulp of my Coke. I hadn't realized I had been so thirsty.

"Are you cold?"

"It's just the Coke," I shook my head, explaining even as another shudder racked through my body.

Wordlessly, he handed me his own jacket, leaving him in only an ivory turtleneck that outlined his muscular chest. Admiring him, I slipped his jacket on, the material as cold as if it had never been worn making me shiver yet again, even as the most delicious scent infiltrated my senses. It took all my concentration to prevent myself from getting dizzy off it.

"As much as I hate to admit, those monsters did have something right, Edward spoke ,his long white hand pushing the second Coke over to me as I unconsciously finished the first, "you do look beautiful tonight. That color blue looks lovely with your skin."

Surprised, I looked down, flushing as I did. When I had woken up today, I had assumed I would spend the day working and had dressed in a deep royal blue short sleeved shirt that draped to mid thigh and a pair of faded straight cut jeans.

He pushed the breadbasket towards me.

"I'm not hungry," I grumbled again, keeping my eyes fixed on the table cloth. /he sighed across from me.

"Are you ready to order?" Amber asked Edward, I glanced at her interruption but said nothing. He shook his head, gesturing towards me.

"Mushroom ravioli," I muttered, picking out the first thing I saw on the menu. She left immediately after, dissatisfied with the lack of acknowledgement from Edward.

"You kissed me."

I nearly spit out my Coke, but kept my composure. "I had almost forgotten that was why you brought me here."

He glared at me, drumming his fingers on the tabletop. "Just answer the question."

Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I raised an eyebrow at him before pursing my lips. "I'll tell you in the car. But I have some conditions."

"Don't you always?" He said sardonically, leaning closer to me across the table.

"Just a few questions," I reasoned with him s I took another sip of my Coke. He stared at me expectantly.

"Okay, let's say there's this person," I hesitated, thinking of how I was going to word this impossible thought, "Who could read minds –with a few exceptions."

"Just _one_ exception," he corrected.

"All right, with one exception then." I was thrilled that he was playing along but I tried to seem nonchalant. "How does that work?"

He eyed me once, and then his lips quirked up into the crooked smile again. "It's a little like being in a huge hall filled with people, everyone talking at once. Until I focus on one voice, and then what they're thinking is clear. Most of the time, I tune it all out –it can be very distracting."

"And you can't hear me?"

"No, which is why you managed to kiss me," he said, his voice hard.

Whoops.


End file.
